Hey..new guy here with yet another idea for GB3. Its a fully wriiten script that took me several months to finish. It involves a RGB villian Sam Hain and his attempt to bring about eternal halloween on Earth. I thought he was the perfect villian and used him as the basis for my script. The Ghostbusters have yet again gone completly under and have disbanded. Egon is now a physics professor at the University of Colombia. He recriuts two of his young students to assemble a new team of ghostbusters when he discovers Sam Hain's forces have been released into our world. The demon lord himself will come through to our dimension and merge it with his own on the stroke of midnight All Hollow's Eve, to bring about eternal darkness. An exceptionally bright janitor, aversed in physics and mechanical genious ex-con also join the team along with returning veteran Winston. Here are a few scenes from my script describing key story elements.
The releasing of Sam Hain….
EXT. DARK ALLEY: NIGHT
A hooded figure holding something
under his arm silently makes his
way through dark forboding
alleyway to door obscured by
trash. He knocks three times.
A slot opens and two eyes appear.
HOODED FIGURE #1
(whispering)
May darkness rule.
The door immeadietly opens and
the figure enters. Another
hooded person awaits him on
the other side.
INT. HOODS ORDER-NIGHT
HOODED FIGURE #2
(in a low voice)
Did you get it?
HOODED FIGURE #1
Yea I got it.
(reveals a book that he
had been concealing
under his arm)
THE BOOK
Ancient looking with
ritualistic symbols on
the cover. A pagan glyph
adorns the center of the
book.
HOODED FIGURE #2
Oh this great. Good job.
HOODED FIGURE #1
I'm not sure this was such a
good idea.
HOODED FIGURE #2
Don't be silly. This is why
we founded this order.
Don't back out now. Come
now.
The two walk through a
large room of an abandoned
biulding in downtown
New York. They walk down a
flight of steps that lead to
the basement.
INT. HOODS ORDER- BASEMENT-NIGHT
The two figures slowly walk
into the basement where they
join several other hooded
figures encircled around a
huge pagan symbol drawn on the
floor. It is the exact same
symbol which adorns the
center of the book.
HOODED FIGURE #3
Did you obtain it?
HOODED FIGURE #2
Holds out the book for all to
see.
HOODED FIGURE #2
Everyone take your
positions. Tonight the
darkness rules.
(he opens the book and rips a
page out, than lays the book
in the center of the pagan
symbol on the floor)
All the HOODS form a circle
around the huge glyph with
lighted candles.
HOODED FIGURE #2
Everyone ready?
(begins to read from the
torn page)
“From this book I read
for the darkness shall plant
the seed, from the depths I
call, to come and make this
present realm fall, bring
with you your children of
the night, and grant them
sight,for the time of your
coming is at hand, to lay
dark siege upon this land
for now we summon you from
the black gate to bring
your evil, your vile, your
hate. Now fly on your demon
wings to bring an end to all
things, spare no death or
pain so swears Sam Hain.”
All the participants raise
their candles and en masse
HOODS
(in unison)
Hail Sam Hain!
All goes quiet for a moment
than a strong ghostly wind
appears and extinguishes
the candles. All goes cold
as the breath of several
hoods can be seen in the
air. A strange rumbling
can be felt when suddenly
the walls start to bleed.
The rumbling reaches
severe hieghts as debris
begins to fall from the
cieling. The hoods are
thouroughly frightened
and srcamble to get out
of the biulding.
HOODED FIGURE #2
(in the midst of the chaos)
We must grab the book!
He than runs to grab
the book from the
floor, but when he
lifts it up we see
the head of a
monstrous creature
rising from out of the
floor.
HOODED FIGURE #2
Jumps back in horror, but
holds onto the book and
frantically climbs the
stairs and out the door.
EXT. DARK ALLEY- NIGHT
The hood exits the door
way quickly and stumbles
outside. He stops and for
a moment when everything
seems still. Than a split
second later the book is
yanked foward by an unseen
force. The hood keeps hold
of the book and is dragged
with it across the alley,
all the while screaming.
Finally the force is to
strong and the hood lets
go, stumbling onto the
ground exhausted.
THE BOOK
Goes flying into the air
transforming into a
brilliant fire ball resembling
a meteor falling to Earth.
EXT. PUBLIC PARK- NIGHT
THE BOOK
Falls to a grassy clearing.
It smolders and steam rises
from it. Than the grass from
beneath the book comes alive
and takes the shape of a large
gaping mouth.
GRASS CREATURE
Swallows the book whole and
returns to inanimate grass.
Slowly fade to black as Ghostbusters
logo appears accompanied by theme
music.
The Prophecy…
INT.CUT TO: ZIMMERMAN'S APARTMENT: PKE DEVICE: NIGHT
EGON
Looks on intently as his
P.K.E. scans Zimmerman's
Apartment for paranormal
activity.
WILLIAM (O.S.)
What do you think professor?
EGON
How long ago did you say this
happened?
WILLIAM
About nine or so.
EGON
Interesting. You said
there were something
about ectoplasm.
WILLIAM
Uh…yea, its over here.
He leads Egon into the
kitchen where a small
palstic bowl containing
the slimy substance sits.
EGON
Scans the bowl with the
P.K.E. Than squats to see
the bowl at eye level.
EGON
This is facsinating.
The last time I encountered
slime like this, a sixteenth
century tyrant nearly took
over the world, by
materializing the evil
feelings of this city into
a psycho reactive substance
such as the one in this bowl.
(pauses)
I'd like to conduct a short
experiment if you don't mind
Mr. Davis.
WILLIAM
Uh…sure.
EGON
Squats again to eye level.
EGON
(clears his throat, than begins
to shout)
You worthless disgusting
piece of shit! You have the
worst cellular composition
of any gelatonous organism
I've ever seen!
William and Alexis stare in
akward disbeleif.
EGON
(rising from squat)
No physical response.
(looks at his young students)
They stare at him not
daring to move.
EGON
Um…I thought it might
have been the same kind
of slime…yes well
(takes a deep sigh)
Lets take a look at the
writing on the wall shall
we.
EGON
Carefully examines the burnt
hieroglyphics on the wall.
WILLIAM(O.S.)
Do you think it could be
Egyptian professor.
EGON
No, its much to defined
to be Egyptain. Tell me
did Mr. or Mrs. Zimmerman
tell you anything else
about the encounter.
WILLIAM
Its just as told you
professor, the aparaition
took possesion of Rob's
body and starting laughing
and he collapsed.
ALEXIS
Wait, Will didn't she say
that Mr. Zimmerman said like
a name or something.
WILLIAM
Oh yes, Doris said something
about Rob bellowing a name-
something like spam haines
or…
EGON
Sam Hain!
WILLIAM
Yea, does that mean something?
EGON
A look of dread fear crosses
his face.
WILLIAM
Professor whats wrong, what
does that mean?
EGON
Sam Hain, the demon lord of
Halloween. This writing is
ancient Celtic. Oh this is
very bad. Whats today's date?
WILLIAM
Um… the tenth.
INT.CUT TO: COLOMBIA UNIVERSITY: EGON'S OFFICE: BOOK OPENING: NIGHT
A book swings open on top
of Egon's desk.
WILLIAM
Looks on intently.
WILLIAM
What is that professor?
EGON
(head down, thumbing through
book)
This is Tobin's spirit
guide. Kind of an
encyclopedia of the
supernatrual if you will.
Came in very handy when
I was a Ghostbuster…
Ah ha, here we are,
Sam Hain, ancient Celtic
deity, also demonic
lord of the festival of
the day of the dead.
(looking up from book)
The ancient celts
believed that on one
night of the year the
souls of the dead
would return to
roam the Earth.
That's when Sam Hain
would perch himself
on the highest peak
to rule the dead that
roamed the Earth that
one night. This of
course became our
modern Halloween…
(looks back down at book)
Um… there was a prophecy,
that a Celt sorcerer had
created an incantation that
would enable Sam Hain to
cross over into our world
and merge it with his
therefore spreading
darkness upon the face of
the Earth and plunge us
into an eternal night…
into eternal Halloween.
WILLIAM
You dont think…
EGON
It'll take more testing, but
if I'm right, the ultimate
evil may be approaching our
world very soon.
ALEXIS
How soon?
EGON
(flips through pages of book)
Well according to the prophecy
Sam Hain can only appear the
night of All Hallows Eve, so
my guess is someone would have
to read the incantation before
hand to complete the prophecy.
(looks up)
He will probably appear a
time before midnight on
Halloween.
ALEXIS
But where is this supposed
spell.
WILLIAM
(solemnly)
The book of Qabala.
EGON
What did you say Mr. Davis?
WILLIAM
The book of Qabala…its a
book of witchcraft and pagan
spells. I remember it from
the Cloister's Museum.
Supposedely it was written
about two millenia ago.
ALEXIS
(excitedly)
Wait a minute, there was a
break in at the Cloisters
a few days ago, but they
didn't say what was stolen.
EGON
That must be it than!
Someone stole that book
read the spell and
released Sam Hain's
forces into this world.
WILLIAM
What can we do?
Frat House Ghost…
INT. CUT TO: FRAT HOUSE PARTY:NIGHT
With loud dance music blaring,
drunken college kids roaming
about and booze bieng passed
out in abundance- this is the
typical college party.
BRAD
(shouting)
Hey, turn that shit up!
DONNY
Out on the dance floor
doing a drunken dance.
After being rejected by a
number of girls for a dance
he stumbles off into Brad's
direction. He passes right
in front of Brad.
BRAD
Grabs Donny.
BRAD
Dude, check it out.
(points across room to Jenna)
This is my chance dude.
DONNY
Nods abesent mindedly as he
slides to the floor and
passes out.
JENNA
Drinks punch alone and
obviously has no one to talk
to. She notices Brad coming
toward her and she smiles
shyly.
BRAD
Hey Jenna, hows it goin? I
couldn't help but notice your
over here by yourself.
JENNA
Yea, well my friend was
supposed to come with me
but…
BRAD
Aww, well I don't want you to
feel left out or nothin, why
don't you come over here and
hang with us. You'll have fun.
JENNA
She smiles and follows.
BRAD
Leads her over to a group of
his fraternity brothers.
BRAD
Guys, this is Jenna, Jenna the
guys.
(hands her a beer)
JENNA
Looks at it hesistantly.
BRAD
Look its easy…
(downs an entire bottle)
JENNA
Smiles and drinks half a cup.
Followed by yelps of approval
by the fraternity.
BRAD
Puts his hands on her shoulders
from behind.
BRAD
What I tell you guys, shes a
naturual!
INT. CUT TO: PUMPKIN: FRAT HOUSE PARTY: NIGHT
Close-up of pumpkin with
glowing green center. When an
eerie whisper can be heard
“Sam…Hain”
Fade to close-up of clock that
reads 2:30.
JENNA
Is now stumbling around in a
drunken daze.
BRAD
Watches on with friends.
BRAD
Excuse me boys, I think I gotta
date upstairs.
He escorts the drunk Jenna
upstairs. Brad leads her to a
room and they enter. He locks
the door and lays her down on
the bed. He goes to a mirror
and starts to take his shirt
off.
The curtains start to ripple
as a mysterious breeze enters
the room. It suddlenly becomes
deathly cold. An eerie whisper
heard “Sam…Hain”
BRAD
(still looking in the mirror)
Did you say somethin baby?
(turns around)
Suddenly he is staring a
monstrous slimy reptillian
creature face to face as it
hangs upside down.
CREATURE
(in an insane high pitched voice)
Hiya babyyyyyyyyy!
It extends it's slimy mouth
in a pucker and kisses Brad.
Leaving a dripping slimy
residue on Brad's mouth.
BRAD
Screams and falls back on the
dresser.
CREATURE
Laughs insanly, while Brad runs
out of the room.
INT. CUT TO: DOWNSTAIRS: FRAT HOUSE: NIGHT
The party is still raging when
a shriek is heard from upstairs.
BRAD
Runs downstairs in a panic in
only his boxers, all the while
shrieking. He darts straight
out the door to the
astonishment of the party
onlookers.
DONNY
Told you she was a skank dude.
The lights suddenly flicker on
and off and than shut off.
VOICE
This is one awesome ass party!
A light from a flashlight is seen
with Donny holding it.
DONNY
Damn fuses.
He feels someone tap him on the
shoulder. He turns around and
shines the light to see who it
is. The beam reveals the
reptillian creature.
CREATURE
Excuse me do you have the time!
(cackles)
The crowd draws back and in
unison let out a giant scream.
They all stampede out the door,
While the creature's laugh
echoes through the air.
INT. CUT TO: ALEXIS DORM ROOM: NIGHT
She lies on her bed studying
when the thunderous noise
people running past her door
catches her attention. She
goes outside.
ALEXIS
(grabs a fleeing girl)
What the hell is going on?
GIRL
Some kinda monster at the
frat party!
ALEXIS
Wha…
(releases girl)
She gets on her cell phone
and calls William.
INT. CUT TO: FIRE HOUSE: BASEMENT: NIGHT
WILLIAM
Has proton pack strapped to
back.
WILLIAM
Well professor here goes
nothing.
They stand at a distance from a
piece of cardboard with a
painted bullseye.
WILLIAM
He activates particle thrower.
WILLIAM
One, two, th…
The particle stream bursts out
with tremendous force and
Will has some trouble
controling his aim. When he
finally gets enough control
to turn it off the only thing
that remains of the target is
the small bullseye with
everything around it burnt off.
EGON
Well…I'd say that was fairly
sucessful.
WILLIAM
Cell phone rings. He answers
it.
WILLIAM
Hello?
INT. CUT TO: ALEXIS
ALEXIS
Will, its, Alex.
Intercut Alexis and William.
WILLIAM
Yea, what is it Alex?
ALEXIS
Well, there's something
happening here at the
campus, that I think you
and Professor Spengler
should see.
WILLIAM
What happened?
ALEXIS
Well apprently there's
some kind of creature
loose in the frat house.
WILLIAM
(excitedly)
Are you sure?
ALEXIS
Well there was about a
million people running
out of the frat house
so apparently they saw
something.
WILLIAM
Ok, we'll be right there.
ALEX
Ok I'll meet you on campus.
Bye.
WILLIAM
Bye.
(hangs up)
EGON
Is everything alright?
WILLIAM
Great news, professor.
Alex says that the frat
party was interrupted by
some kind of monster,
everybody ran out of there
screaming.
EGON
Lets load this stuff up.
WILLIAM
Alright!
EXT. CUT TO: COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY CAMPUS:NIGHT
William and Egon pull up
in front of the frat house.
WILLIAM
Gets out of van.
WILLIAM
Well this is it.
(he notices Alexis walking toward
him)
ALEXIS
Will!
WILLIAM
How long have you been out
here?
ALEXIS
I was waiting in my car, and
I heard some really crazy
sounds coming from the house.
EGON
Comes up from behind her.
EGON
What kinds of sounds?
ALEXIS
I don't know, like laughing
and stuff flying all over the
place.
EGON
Miss Escobar, are you sure
this isn't some college prank
these kids are trying to pull.
ALEXIS
I doubt it professor.
EGON
Opens back doors of van and
pulls out a proton pack and
hands it to William.
WILLIAM
Puts proton pack on.
ALEXIS
Wait a minute, you guys
aren't really gonna go in
there and start blowing
shit up…are you?
WILLIAM
(with a smirk)
We'll see.
EGON
Besides, Miss Escobar shit
can be replaced. What were
looking at is quite possibly
the greatest evil that
plans to cross into our world
with unimaginable consequences.
He walks past her.
WILLIAM
(looking at Alexis)
What he said.
INT. CUT TO: FRAT HOUSE LIVING ROOM: NIGHT
Egon, Alexis, and William
notice the walls dripping
with a green ooze.
WILLIAM
Walks over to wall and
studies ooze.
WILLIAM
(sniffs substance)
Professor, grade A ectoplasm.
EGON
Comes up beside William.
EGON
We could have a full roaming
vapor, or class seven. I
suggest we split up.
All three of them climb to
the top of the steps.
EGON
Now remember if you see
anything…
(holds up walkie talkie)
Miss Escobar, you stay
close to William.
EGON
Starts to make his way down
hallway.
WILLIAM and ALEXIS
Open first door and enter.
Room is dark.
WILLIAM
Flips on lights.
ROOM
The walls are dripping with
the green ectoplasm like the
downstairs.
WILLIAM
Looks like old spookys been
here to.
He takes out a P.K.E. device
and begins to scan the room.
ALEXIS
Whats that?
WILLIAM
Its a P.K.E, kind of a
supernatrual spectrumeter.
ALEXIS
Shrugs shoulders.
INT. CUT TO: BATHROOM: FRAT HOUSE: NIGHT
Egon cautiously enters. He
flicks on the lights and
activates his P.K.E. and scans
the bathroom. He goes over
to the mirror and collects
a sample of the ectoplasm
that covers it. Egon pauses to
look in the mirror and starts
rubbing his teeth.
MIRROR
In a milli second the mirror
shatters in a thousand pieces
and the goblin like creature
lunges foward voilently
hissing.
EGON
Stumbles back in fright. He
draws his particle thrower and
fires a stream directly at the
creature.
CREATURE
Leaps out of the way just
before the stream blasts the
mirror and the wall behind it.
It flies through a wall
cackling insanely.
EGON
Ceases fire. Breathing hard he
goes over to inspect the wall
he just blasted. The stream has
left a huge charred hole in the
wall.
EGON
(talking into walkie talkie)
William, I just saw it he
flew through the wall and
into the hallway.
WILLIAM(V.O.)
Copy professor.
WILLIAM AND ALEXIS
Walk out into the hallway and
look in both directions.
WILLIAM
(talking into walkie talkie)
I don't see it professor.
He turns in the opposite
direction and suddenly
there it is staring him
dead in the eye.
WILLIAM
Whoa!
(stumbles back)
He draws his particle thrower
and fires at the creature.
CREATURE
Gleefully dodges as William
hits anything but the creature.
WILLIAM
We need the professor here.
ALEXIS
Let me see that thing!
WILLIAM
But uh…
ALEXIS
Just gimme it!
She grabs the thrower, fires
and hits the creature dead
center in mid air.
CREATURE
Shrieks and writhes wildly
in the air, while the
the particle stream holds
it fast in the air.
WILLIAM
(into walkie talkie)
Professor! We got it!
EGON(V.O.)
Hold it, I'll be right
there!
Seconds later Egon comes
running up the hallway
and sees the creature
struggling with the
particle beam. He fires
his own particle stream
and snags the creature.
EGON
William, the trap!
WILLIAM
Oh yea!
He unhooks a ghost
trap frpm his belt and
throws it underneath
the creature.
EGON
Miss Escobar, don't
look directly into the
trap!
ALEXIS
Right!
WILLIAM
Ready one, two, three!
William slams down on
the foot pedal and activates
the trap.
ALEXIS AND EGON
Cease fire and look away from
the trap.
THE TRAP
Opens and bright beam of
etheral light shoots up and
snags the creature. It is
sucked into the trap in a
blinding flash of light as the
trap clamps shut.
The three look at each other
and start to laugh.
ALEXIS
(yelp of excitment)
What a rush!
Suddenly a door opens and
Jenna drowsily peeks her head
out.
JENNA
What in the hell is goin on?
ALEXIS
Jen, what are you doin here?
You mean you've been asleep
all this time?
JENNA
Yea I guess.
ALEXIS
Why didn't you leave when
everyone else did?
JENNA
I dunno, the last thing I
remember is Brad screaming
and running out the room.
(rubs her head)
Is the party over?
ALEXIS
(smirks)
Com'n.
Puts her freinds arm around
and leads her away to the
stairs.
William and Egon follow close
behind. William holds the
smoking ghost trap dangling
from the cord.
WILLIAM
Looks like the Ghostbusters
are back in biusness!
All of them make their way
downstairs and open the front
door. On the other side await
campus security. Outside
hundreds of students have
gathered to see what all the
commotion was about.
CAMPUS SECURTIY GUARD
You mind explaining what in
the goddamn hell just went on
in there.
WILLIAM
(holds up smoking ghost trap)
This!
One of the students from
the crowd shouts.
STUDENT
Dude you mean you actually
caught that thing?
ALEXIS
Thats what the Ghostbusters do.
SECURITY GUARD
Hey wait a minute I recognize
you.
(points to Egon)
Dr. Spengler! You are a
Ghostbuster!
Another student shouts from
the crowd.
STUDENT #2
Dude, the Ghostbusters are
back!
The crowd cheers.
Eternal Halloween: My GB3 script
by
19 years, 4 months ago
by
19 years, 4 months ago
Continuation.
The interviews for new Ghostbusters….
INT. WILLIAMS OFFICE: FIREHOUSE: DAY
A black Jamaican man with long
dread locks sits across from
William's desk.
JAMICAN
(in heavy accent)
I think that this job would
give us Jamaicans an equal
opportunity in this
american society.
(gets up from chair)
Power to the brother mon!
INT. WILLIAMS OFFICE: DAY
A bookwormish looking man
with coke bottle glasses
sits across from William's
desk.
BOOKWORM
Does this job offer free
tri- care?
INT. WILLIAM'S OFFICE: DAY
A young man with long
dishevled hair and a
striped shirt sits across
from Willaim's desk.
YOUNG MAN
You mean this isn't the
auditions for the new
Stephen King movie?
INT. CUT TO: FRONT DESK: FIREHOUSE: DAY
Haley sits filing her nails.
WILLIAM
Walks out of his office.
HALEY
So how did it go?
WILLIAM
(takes a deep sigh)
We are in serious trouble.
Grim Reaper in the club…
INT. BACK ROOM: CLUB ICE: NIGHT
Lathan and Donnell sneak
through the back of the
club carrying three proton
packs.
DONNELL
(in low voice)
Aye dawg, you sure we
should be doin dis?
LATHAN
Just shut yo ass up!
They make their way
upstairs to the V.I.P.
room. The lights illuminate
and the two crooks stare
a group of thugs waiting
for them. TYLEESE, tall
gangster black man with
several gold chains and
rings on, makes his way
from behind his thugs.
TYLEESE
Well its good to see you
Lay Lay. Hope you got my
money.
(looks down at proton packs)
What dis, you tryin to be
the Orkin man or sumthin?
LATHAN
Naw, Ty…I just thought
they might be worth sumthin.
TYLEESE
(snickers)
Worth sumthin, looks like
a ova sized battery to me.
So you got my shit or what.
LATHAN
Um…
TYLEESE
Um, there ain't no um in
my vocabulary son. Now either
you got my money or you don't.
LATHAN
Naw, I ain't got yo money,
but if you just give me a
more days…
TYLEESE
Back hands Lathan. Than
grabs his face.
TYLEESE
Dats the wrong answer.
He throws Lathan to his
thugs and they restrain
him.
TYLEESE
Can you boys belive dis
lil sack a shit ain't got
my money.
(snickers)
Back hands Lathan again.
LATHAN
Aww c'mon dawg, I told
you I get you da money.
TYLEESE
And I told you dat tonight
wuz da deadline, and what
do you bring me! Some old
tin can batteries! Im a
light yo ass up boy!
Suddenly from the vents
pour a crimson mist that
quickly envelops the room.
TYLEESE
Holds a knife to Lathan's
throat. He looks down and
sees the red mist that is
rising upward.
TYLEESE
What the hell is goin on!
LATHAN
Is caught up in the mist
and starts to shake
voilently. He starts to
scream as if something were
killing him.
TYLEESE AND THUGS
Can't see two feet in front
of them because of the thick
mist.
Than everything goes silent
the mist starts to clear.
Tyleese and his gang make
out Lathan's form and start
to walk closer. They spin him
around and are horrified to see
face of a skull staring back
at them. The eye sockets
glow a bright red.
APPARITION
Opens its mouth and shrieks
insanely.
Tyleese and his men scream
and run out the door.
DONNELL
Lathan is dat you?
LATHAN
A monstous demonic apparation
raises up from Lathan's body
carrying a sickle and
resembling the Grim Reaper.
It releases Lathan and he
drops to the floor. The
demon looks at Donnell.
DONNELL
Oh, ok.
(faints)
GRIM REAPER
Rushes out the door with
a gust of powerful wind.
INT. CUT TO: MAIN DANCE FLOOR: CLUB ICE: NIGHT
Clarence and Jason are
still up on main stage
dancing with several
beautiful women.
Suddenly the door at the
corner of the club bursts
open and Tyleese and his
men run out screaming. They
all run straight out the main
door. Everyone stops quiet
at what just happened.
Than the corner door again
bursts open this time by
a red mist that takes the
shape of the Grim Reaper
demon and invades the body
of a young man on the dance
floor. The crowd panics and
screams.
YOUNG MAN
Is raised him off the floor
while his face morphs from
demon skull back to his normal
face.
All the people run toward the
exit, but the doors slam
shut by an unseen force.
JASON
Oh shit!
CLARENCE
oh no this asshole just
didn't mess up my party!
we gotta get to da packs!
JASON
Lets try the back door.
Both of them scurry out
the corner door. They
run through a hallway
and past the V.I.P.
room.
CLARENCE
Look inside the room and
notices the proton packs
on the floor.
CLARENCE
Aye dawg, look!
JASON
Runs back.
JASON
What the hell?
They walk in and see Lathan
and Donnell on the floor.
JASON
Goes over to Donnell and
finds him singing “Wade in
the water” in his sleep.
JASON
He alive.
CLARENCE
Checks Lathan.
CLARENCE
This ones aight to.
JASON
These lil shit heads tried
jack our shit!
CLARENCE
We ain't got time to worry
bout that now.
JASON
Oh yeah.
INT.CUT TO: HALLWAY: CLUB ICE: NIGHT
The two stand on the
otherside of the door
proton packs strapped on
throwers drawn ready to
go.
CLARENCE
Lets go kick some ghost
ass.
(reaches to open door)
JASON
Hold up. Lets go in wit
some style.
(kicks door in)
How ya'll doin tonight.
The crowd cheers.
GRIM REAPER
Materializes into solid form.
It is a frightening specter
standing almost nine feet
tall, wearing black hood and
robe,it's face a fanged skull
and carrying a huge sickle. Its
eyes burning with fury.
JASON
Who turned off the damn
music! D.J. kick dat shit!
Music begins to play.
JASON
Wassup Grim. Damn dawg you
seem like you could use a
tan.
CLARENCE
Lucky we can help you wit
dat.
(imitating t.v. announcer)
With our quick tan proton
program. Heres your
free sample.
They fire their steeams at
the specter but it quickly
disperses in a puff of smoke.
JASON
Where da hell?
They walk up to the spot
where the specter
disappeared.
CLARENCE
You can run but you can't…
Suddenly a load roar is
heard from behind them as
the Reaper instantaneously
materializes behind them.
GRIM REAPER
Extends its arms in a mist
like projections and lifts
Jason and Clarence off the
ground, causing them to drop
their throwers. It roars and
sends them flying into a
nearby wall.
JASON AND CLARENCE
Crash into wall.
GRIM REAPER
Expands in vapor form
and charges the two
stricken Ghostbusters.
Before they have time to
react the entity again
slams them agianst the wall,
sliding them upward.
JASON AND CLARENCE
Convulse and shake as the
entity begins to fry them
with surges of energy.
Electrical sparks fly
from their eyes and mouth
as they begin to illuminate.
GRIM REAPER
Opens its mouth and roars a
demonic shreik.
VOICE FROM BEHIND
Hey!
All goes silent for a second
as we hear the sound of a
proton thower being activated.
GRIM REAPER
The back of its head morphs
into its face, with its
body still facing the other
two. From its point of view
we see Alexis armed and
dangerous aiming her thrower
directly at the creature.
ALEXIS
Good evening.
Fires proton beam that
hits creature dead center.
GRIM REAPER
Releases the other two as
they drop to the floor. It
howls while bieng pounded with
Alexis's particle blast.
ALEXIS
Nobody touches my boys
but me!
JASON AND CLARENCE
Dazed and coughing
smoke. They notice Alexis
battling the Reaper.
JASON
Damn baby. Can't let
you have all the fun.
They activate their throwers
and fire at the creature.
GRIM REAPER
Pounded from all sides as
the three young Ghostbusters
blast away.
CLARENCE
Yea back up hoe!
JASON
Think its time you checked
out foo! Baby would you do
the honors!
ALEXIS
With pleasure!
She tosses a trap and
sassily pushes the foot
pedal with the heel of
her stiletto. The Reaper
is instantly caught up
and sucked into the trap
as it clamps shut.
JASON
And that's a wrap!
The battle with Sam Hain…
EXT. ECTO MOBILE SLICING THROUGH STREETS:NIGHT
The six Ghostbusters and
Gelgin ride in Ecto-pimp
toward the source of their
problems.
EGON
(riding shotgun)
We have to get to that
pumpkin patch.
CLARENCE
(driving)
Where da hell is dat?
EGON
Central park.
GOLEN
We must hurry!
EGON
Its a half hour till
midnight!
ALEXIS
What happens at midnight?
WILLIAM
Doomsday.
Ecto Pimp pulls up beside
park gate. They all peer
out the window to an
awesome and horrific sight.
The parimeter fence of the
park is now a twisting
fort of spikes and thorns.
Ghostly gargoyle like
creatures fly in orbit
around the entire park.
JASON
God…Damn.
WILLIAM
Looks like we got our
work cut out for us.
CLARENCE
No shit.
They all emerge from the
car and sling their proton
packs on.
WINSTON
This may be the big one Egon.
EGON
Nothing we can't handle.
They all aim their throwers
at the front gate.
JASON
Ain't spring cleanin a bitch.
Fire!
The proton beams fry the
front gates and they explode
inward.
CLARENCE
Betta than a tek-9.
EGON
Lets go!
They make their way into
the park and on the way
blast some dive bombing
gargoyles. Finally they
make their way to the
pumpkin patch.
EGON
There it is!
WINSTON
Lets blast it!
EGON
Wait! That could make
things worse.
Suddenly Alexis is
yanked foward by an
unseen force and lands
in the middle of the
patch. One by one
the same thing happens
to the others.
JASON
(face down)
What the hell was that?
GROUND
The ground beneath them
begins to glow florescent
green and than begins
to shake. Skeletal hands
poke through the earth and
grab the Ghostbusters pinning
them down. Than the ground
upheaves and the Ghostbusters
are find themselves bieng
lifted up as a huge
platform breaks through the
ground and grows to a hieght
of almost four hundred feet
tall. Four pointed spires
grow on each side of the now
huge column.
JASON
Looks down and his eyes
widen in shock. He than looks
at his skeletal restraints
and rips himself free. The
others do likewise.
EGON
Is everyone alright?
CLARENCE
Other than a broken neck
yea I'm fine.
GELGIN
Look!
The demon gargoyles are now
flying around the biulding
in a hellish carousel of
grotesque monsters.
EGON
Our dimension is merging
with Sam Hain's. If we
don't reverse it before
midnight it will be
eternal night forever!
Just than a massive vortex
opens at the head of the altar
identical to the one Golen
came through, only much bigger.
Still more unearthly creatures
fly out of the portal.
WINSTON
How long do we have!
WILLIAM
Ten minutes!
ALEXIS
Oh great.
VORTEX
Bolts of searing energy
shoot from the portal,
thunderous lighting
crashes into the earth
and what seem like brilliant
red lasers emit from the
vortex. They begin to form
a demonic creature with
a head in the shape of a
pumpkin. Before the
transformation is complete
a blinding flash of light
explodes outward.
GHOSTBUSTERS
Shield their eyes from the
blazing light.
When the light dissapates
we see a huge figure almost
twleve feet tall draped in a
flowing black robe. Two long
spindly arms with clawed
hands at the end of them are
criss croosed over the demon's
face. This is the evil lord
of Haloween- Sam Hain.
SAM HAIN
Slowly uncrosses his arms to
reveal a bulbous pumkin head.
His eyes are a burning blood
red and he has two saber like
fangs protruding from his
mouth.
CLARENCE
Now thats what I call
an entrance.
JASON
Why does the name sleepy
hollow, come to mind.
SAM HAIN
(in a satanic voice)
Yes my little ones!
Come to your master!
Eternal night is
upon us, eternal darkness,
eternal Halloween!
JASON
Sorry dawg, didn't you
hear theres a no pumpkin
head oridinance in the
park.
SAM HAIN
(looks down)
Foolish mortals!
Surender your souls
to the almighty Sam
Hain!
ALEXIS
(raises middle finger)
Two words, fuck…you.
JASON
(to Alexis)
Your beautiful when
your insulting pumpkin
headed monsters.
SAM HAIN
Bow to the invincibilty of
my evil!
GELGIN
(pushes his way to the front
and faces Sam Hain)
You will not this world
Sam Hain! I will not
permit it!
SAM HAIN
Pitiful old man! You
shall yield to my will as
you have for two thousand
years!
GELGIN
You have kept me prisoner
in your realm for so long,
I will not let you have this
world! Never!
(he begins to read the incantation
on the tablet: subtitled)
Through the sands of time
and space, you shall retreat
back into your hellish realm,
for good will conquer your evil,
so swears the powers of light!
He rears back and throws the
tablet into the portal behind
Sam Hain.
SAM HAIN
NO!!!!!!
JASON
Nail em!
They all fire their proton
beams in unison and a wave
of proton energy slams into
Sam Hain.
Ghostbusters theme begins
to play.
Immedieatly the vortex becomes
a vaccum with tremendous force.
Goblins and ghouls of all sorts
begin to get sucked back into
their realm.
WILLIAM
Its working! Sam Hain is the
life force, keep your beams
focused on him!
CLARENCE
Oh don't worry there not goin
anywhere!
Quickly the city below begins
to transform back into normal
Manhattan, as the essence of Sam
Hain's dimension is sucked back
into the portal.
EGON
Thirty seconds left!
JASON
Cmon you mutha!
GELGIN
In a moment of reflection
makes a decsion.
GELGIN
Farewell my friends. I
must do this.
He runs to Sam Hain and
thier eyes become locked
on each others. Golen with
his wisdom and Sam Hain
his eyes burning red with
evil. Golen leaps at the
demon clutching it fast as
it and himself go flying back
through the portal as
the stroke of midnight hits.
EGON
Gelgin!
The portal closes with
tremendous force sending
the Ghostbusters almost
flying off the edge.
The four hundred feet column
biulding begins to crumble
and is ready to topple.
The Ghostbusters hang on for
dear life as they fall with
the biulding.
WINSTON
Were gonna be street pizza
in about ten seconds!
CLARENCE
Make that five!
WILLIAM
Everybody jump! Its our
only chance!
One by one they jump landing
in a nearby tree.
ALEXIS
Still holds fast afraid to
jump.
JASON
Goes to aid her.
JASON
Baby, grab my hand!
ALEXIS
I can't its to high!
JASON
Baby you gotta trust
me! Or were both dead!
ALEXIS
Reluctantly she grabs his
hand and they leap just at
last second. They land with
a hard crash in the tree.
They all awake in the branches
of the tree, and jump down
to solid ground.
William
Everyone alright?
EGON
Better add a broken rib
to that list, Mr. Jones.
WINSTON AND CLARENCE
Stand beside one another
simoultaneously…
I love this town!
The interviews for new Ghostbusters….
INT. WILLIAMS OFFICE: FIREHOUSE: DAY
A black Jamaican man with long
dread locks sits across from
William's desk.
JAMICAN
(in heavy accent)
I think that this job would
give us Jamaicans an equal
opportunity in this
american society.
(gets up from chair)
Power to the brother mon!
INT. WILLIAMS OFFICE: DAY
A bookwormish looking man
with coke bottle glasses
sits across from William's
desk.
BOOKWORM
Does this job offer free
tri- care?
INT. WILLIAM'S OFFICE: DAY
A young man with long
dishevled hair and a
striped shirt sits across
from Willaim's desk.
YOUNG MAN
You mean this isn't the
auditions for the new
Stephen King movie?
INT. CUT TO: FRONT DESK: FIREHOUSE: DAY
Haley sits filing her nails.
WILLIAM
Walks out of his office.
HALEY
So how did it go?
WILLIAM
(takes a deep sigh)
We are in serious trouble.
Grim Reaper in the club…
INT. BACK ROOM: CLUB ICE: NIGHT
Lathan and Donnell sneak
through the back of the
club carrying three proton
packs.
DONNELL
(in low voice)
Aye dawg, you sure we
should be doin dis?
LATHAN
Just shut yo ass up!
They make their way
upstairs to the V.I.P.
room. The lights illuminate
and the two crooks stare
a group of thugs waiting
for them. TYLEESE, tall
gangster black man with
several gold chains and
rings on, makes his way
from behind his thugs.
TYLEESE
Well its good to see you
Lay Lay. Hope you got my
money.
(looks down at proton packs)
What dis, you tryin to be
the Orkin man or sumthin?
LATHAN
Naw, Ty…I just thought
they might be worth sumthin.
TYLEESE
(snickers)
Worth sumthin, looks like
a ova sized battery to me.
So you got my shit or what.
LATHAN
Um…
TYLEESE
Um, there ain't no um in
my vocabulary son. Now either
you got my money or you don't.
LATHAN
Naw, I ain't got yo money,
but if you just give me a
more days…
TYLEESE
Back hands Lathan. Than
grabs his face.
TYLEESE
Dats the wrong answer.
He throws Lathan to his
thugs and they restrain
him.
TYLEESE
Can you boys belive dis
lil sack a shit ain't got
my money.
(snickers)
Back hands Lathan again.
LATHAN
Aww c'mon dawg, I told
you I get you da money.
TYLEESE
And I told you dat tonight
wuz da deadline, and what
do you bring me! Some old
tin can batteries! Im a
light yo ass up boy!
Suddenly from the vents
pour a crimson mist that
quickly envelops the room.
TYLEESE
Holds a knife to Lathan's
throat. He looks down and
sees the red mist that is
rising upward.
TYLEESE
What the hell is goin on!
LATHAN
Is caught up in the mist
and starts to shake
voilently. He starts to
scream as if something were
killing him.
TYLEESE AND THUGS
Can't see two feet in front
of them because of the thick
mist.
Than everything goes silent
the mist starts to clear.
Tyleese and his gang make
out Lathan's form and start
to walk closer. They spin him
around and are horrified to see
face of a skull staring back
at them. The eye sockets
glow a bright red.
APPARITION
Opens its mouth and shrieks
insanely.
Tyleese and his men scream
and run out the door.
DONNELL
Lathan is dat you?
LATHAN
A monstous demonic apparation
raises up from Lathan's body
carrying a sickle and
resembling the Grim Reaper.
It releases Lathan and he
drops to the floor. The
demon looks at Donnell.
DONNELL
Oh, ok.
(faints)
GRIM REAPER
Rushes out the door with
a gust of powerful wind.
INT. CUT TO: MAIN DANCE FLOOR: CLUB ICE: NIGHT
Clarence and Jason are
still up on main stage
dancing with several
beautiful women.
Suddenly the door at the
corner of the club bursts
open and Tyleese and his
men run out screaming. They
all run straight out the main
door. Everyone stops quiet
at what just happened.
Than the corner door again
bursts open this time by
a red mist that takes the
shape of the Grim Reaper
demon and invades the body
of a young man on the dance
floor. The crowd panics and
screams.
YOUNG MAN
Is raised him off the floor
while his face morphs from
demon skull back to his normal
face.
All the people run toward the
exit, but the doors slam
shut by an unseen force.
JASON
Oh shit!
CLARENCE
oh no this asshole just
didn't mess up my party!
we gotta get to da packs!
JASON
Lets try the back door.
Both of them scurry out
the corner door. They
run through a hallway
and past the V.I.P.
room.
CLARENCE
Look inside the room and
notices the proton packs
on the floor.
CLARENCE
Aye dawg, look!
JASON
Runs back.
JASON
What the hell?
They walk in and see Lathan
and Donnell on the floor.
JASON
Goes over to Donnell and
finds him singing “Wade in
the water” in his sleep.
JASON
He alive.
CLARENCE
Checks Lathan.
CLARENCE
This ones aight to.
JASON
These lil shit heads tried
jack our shit!
CLARENCE
We ain't got time to worry
bout that now.
JASON
Oh yeah.
INT.CUT TO: HALLWAY: CLUB ICE: NIGHT
The two stand on the
otherside of the door
proton packs strapped on
throwers drawn ready to
go.
CLARENCE
Lets go kick some ghost
ass.
(reaches to open door)
JASON
Hold up. Lets go in wit
some style.
(kicks door in)
How ya'll doin tonight.
The crowd cheers.
GRIM REAPER
Materializes into solid form.
It is a frightening specter
standing almost nine feet
tall, wearing black hood and
robe,it's face a fanged skull
and carrying a huge sickle. Its
eyes burning with fury.
JASON
Who turned off the damn
music! D.J. kick dat shit!
Music begins to play.
JASON
Wassup Grim. Damn dawg you
seem like you could use a
tan.
CLARENCE
Lucky we can help you wit
dat.
(imitating t.v. announcer)
With our quick tan proton
program. Heres your
free sample.
They fire their steeams at
the specter but it quickly
disperses in a puff of smoke.
JASON
Where da hell?
They walk up to the spot
where the specter
disappeared.
CLARENCE
You can run but you can't…
Suddenly a load roar is
heard from behind them as
the Reaper instantaneously
materializes behind them.
GRIM REAPER
Extends its arms in a mist
like projections and lifts
Jason and Clarence off the
ground, causing them to drop
their throwers. It roars and
sends them flying into a
nearby wall.
JASON AND CLARENCE
Crash into wall.
GRIM REAPER
Expands in vapor form
and charges the two
stricken Ghostbusters.
Before they have time to
react the entity again
slams them agianst the wall,
sliding them upward.
JASON AND CLARENCE
Convulse and shake as the
entity begins to fry them
with surges of energy.
Electrical sparks fly
from their eyes and mouth
as they begin to illuminate.
GRIM REAPER
Opens its mouth and roars a
demonic shreik.
VOICE FROM BEHIND
Hey!
All goes silent for a second
as we hear the sound of a
proton thower being activated.
GRIM REAPER
The back of its head morphs
into its face, with its
body still facing the other
two. From its point of view
we see Alexis armed and
dangerous aiming her thrower
directly at the creature.
ALEXIS
Good evening.
Fires proton beam that
hits creature dead center.
GRIM REAPER
Releases the other two as
they drop to the floor. It
howls while bieng pounded with
Alexis's particle blast.
ALEXIS
Nobody touches my boys
but me!
JASON AND CLARENCE
Dazed and coughing
smoke. They notice Alexis
battling the Reaper.
JASON
Damn baby. Can't let
you have all the fun.
They activate their throwers
and fire at the creature.
GRIM REAPER
Pounded from all sides as
the three young Ghostbusters
blast away.
CLARENCE
Yea back up hoe!
JASON
Think its time you checked
out foo! Baby would you do
the honors!
ALEXIS
With pleasure!
She tosses a trap and
sassily pushes the foot
pedal with the heel of
her stiletto. The Reaper
is instantly caught up
and sucked into the trap
as it clamps shut.
JASON
And that's a wrap!
The battle with Sam Hain…
EXT. ECTO MOBILE SLICING THROUGH STREETS:NIGHT
The six Ghostbusters and
Gelgin ride in Ecto-pimp
toward the source of their
problems.
EGON
(riding shotgun)
We have to get to that
pumpkin patch.
CLARENCE
(driving)
Where da hell is dat?
EGON
Central park.
GOLEN
We must hurry!
EGON
Its a half hour till
midnight!
ALEXIS
What happens at midnight?
WILLIAM
Doomsday.
Ecto Pimp pulls up beside
park gate. They all peer
out the window to an
awesome and horrific sight.
The parimeter fence of the
park is now a twisting
fort of spikes and thorns.
Ghostly gargoyle like
creatures fly in orbit
around the entire park.
JASON
God…Damn.
WILLIAM
Looks like we got our
work cut out for us.
CLARENCE
No shit.
They all emerge from the
car and sling their proton
packs on.
WINSTON
This may be the big one Egon.
EGON
Nothing we can't handle.
They all aim their throwers
at the front gate.
JASON
Ain't spring cleanin a bitch.
Fire!
The proton beams fry the
front gates and they explode
inward.
CLARENCE
Betta than a tek-9.
EGON
Lets go!
They make their way into
the park and on the way
blast some dive bombing
gargoyles. Finally they
make their way to the
pumpkin patch.
EGON
There it is!
WINSTON
Lets blast it!
EGON
Wait! That could make
things worse.
Suddenly Alexis is
yanked foward by an
unseen force and lands
in the middle of the
patch. One by one
the same thing happens
to the others.
JASON
(face down)
What the hell was that?
GROUND
The ground beneath them
begins to glow florescent
green and than begins
to shake. Skeletal hands
poke through the earth and
grab the Ghostbusters pinning
them down. Than the ground
upheaves and the Ghostbusters
are find themselves bieng
lifted up as a huge
platform breaks through the
ground and grows to a hieght
of almost four hundred feet
tall. Four pointed spires
grow on each side of the now
huge column.
JASON
Looks down and his eyes
widen in shock. He than looks
at his skeletal restraints
and rips himself free. The
others do likewise.
EGON
Is everyone alright?
CLARENCE
Other than a broken neck
yea I'm fine.
GELGIN
Look!
The demon gargoyles are now
flying around the biulding
in a hellish carousel of
grotesque monsters.
EGON
Our dimension is merging
with Sam Hain's. If we
don't reverse it before
midnight it will be
eternal night forever!
Just than a massive vortex
opens at the head of the altar
identical to the one Golen
came through, only much bigger.
Still more unearthly creatures
fly out of the portal.
WINSTON
How long do we have!
WILLIAM
Ten minutes!
ALEXIS
Oh great.
VORTEX
Bolts of searing energy
shoot from the portal,
thunderous lighting
crashes into the earth
and what seem like brilliant
red lasers emit from the
vortex. They begin to form
a demonic creature with
a head in the shape of a
pumpkin. Before the
transformation is complete
a blinding flash of light
explodes outward.
GHOSTBUSTERS
Shield their eyes from the
blazing light.
When the light dissapates
we see a huge figure almost
twleve feet tall draped in a
flowing black robe. Two long
spindly arms with clawed
hands at the end of them are
criss croosed over the demon's
face. This is the evil lord
of Haloween- Sam Hain.
SAM HAIN
Slowly uncrosses his arms to
reveal a bulbous pumkin head.
His eyes are a burning blood
red and he has two saber like
fangs protruding from his
mouth.
CLARENCE
Now thats what I call
an entrance.
JASON
Why does the name sleepy
hollow, come to mind.
SAM HAIN
(in a satanic voice)
Yes my little ones!
Come to your master!
Eternal night is
upon us, eternal darkness,
eternal Halloween!
JASON
Sorry dawg, didn't you
hear theres a no pumpkin
head oridinance in the
park.
SAM HAIN
(looks down)
Foolish mortals!
Surender your souls
to the almighty Sam
Hain!
ALEXIS
(raises middle finger)
Two words, fuck…you.
JASON
(to Alexis)
Your beautiful when
your insulting pumpkin
headed monsters.
SAM HAIN
Bow to the invincibilty of
my evil!
GELGIN
(pushes his way to the front
and faces Sam Hain)
You will not this world
Sam Hain! I will not
permit it!
SAM HAIN
Pitiful old man! You
shall yield to my will as
you have for two thousand
years!
GELGIN
You have kept me prisoner
in your realm for so long,
I will not let you have this
world! Never!
(he begins to read the incantation
on the tablet: subtitled)
Through the sands of time
and space, you shall retreat
back into your hellish realm,
for good will conquer your evil,
so swears the powers of light!
He rears back and throws the
tablet into the portal behind
Sam Hain.
SAM HAIN
NO!!!!!!
JASON
Nail em!
They all fire their proton
beams in unison and a wave
of proton energy slams into
Sam Hain.
Ghostbusters theme begins
to play.
Immedieatly the vortex becomes
a vaccum with tremendous force.
Goblins and ghouls of all sorts
begin to get sucked back into
their realm.
WILLIAM
Its working! Sam Hain is the
life force, keep your beams
focused on him!
CLARENCE
Oh don't worry there not goin
anywhere!
Quickly the city below begins
to transform back into normal
Manhattan, as the essence of Sam
Hain's dimension is sucked back
into the portal.
EGON
Thirty seconds left!
JASON
Cmon you mutha!
GELGIN
In a moment of reflection
makes a decsion.
GELGIN
Farewell my friends. I
must do this.
He runs to Sam Hain and
thier eyes become locked
on each others. Golen with
his wisdom and Sam Hain
his eyes burning red with
evil. Golen leaps at the
demon clutching it fast as
it and himself go flying back
through the portal as
the stroke of midnight hits.
EGON
Gelgin!
The portal closes with
tremendous force sending
the Ghostbusters almost
flying off the edge.
The four hundred feet column
biulding begins to crumble
and is ready to topple.
The Ghostbusters hang on for
dear life as they fall with
the biulding.
WINSTON
Were gonna be street pizza
in about ten seconds!
CLARENCE
Make that five!
WILLIAM
Everybody jump! Its our
only chance!
One by one they jump landing
in a nearby tree.
ALEXIS
Still holds fast afraid to
jump.
JASON
Goes to aid her.
JASON
Baby, grab my hand!
ALEXIS
I can't its to high!
JASON
Baby you gotta trust
me! Or were both dead!
ALEXIS
Reluctantly she grabs his
hand and they leap just at
last second. They land with
a hard crash in the tree.
They all awake in the branches
of the tree, and jump down
to solid ground.
William
Everyone alright?
EGON
Better add a broken rib
to that list, Mr. Jones.
WINSTON AND CLARENCE
Stand beside one another
simoultaneously…
I love this town!
by
19 years, 4 months ago
As always I give kudos to those who take their time and write these things, and I usually don't criticize, but I don't think it was that great. There are some good qualities, but when I read it, all of the sudden I thought I was in the ghetto or somethin'. All them characters were like talking ghettoish, including Egon. I can see Egon as a prof., but he wouldn't really talk that way. It also would be nice to bring some more of the original characters into the mix besides Egon and Winston. I would've liked to see Ray at least in the picture too, because I know Ray would be very interesting in that whole ordeal.
I really liked the Sam Hain idea, but try to stay into one main idea instead of jumping all over the place. Yet again kudos to you on writing this. And don't take this the wrong way. I'm just trying to give you some ideas if later on you decide to revise it!
I really liked the Sam Hain idea, but try to stay into one main idea instead of jumping all over the place. Yet again kudos to you on writing this. And don't take this the wrong way. I'm just trying to give you some ideas if later on you decide to revise it!
by
19 years, 4 months ago
Well these are mostly street chracters..and just where is Egon talking “ghettoish” as you put it. It would've been nice to see just where you thought I was jumping all over the place. Sam Hain is the main idea…the others were just scenes in where various ghosts were fought. Again not everyone can be a Harvard graduate. Two of the main characters are street wise and speak with a certain vernacular.
by
19 years, 4 months ago
Great script,but I would also have liked Peter and Ray to join Egon and Winston in it.
Janine,Louis and Slimer would be ideal too.
:-) (^_^)
Janine,Louis and Slimer would be ideal too.
:-) (^_^)
by
19 years, 4 months ago
GB PETER VENKMAN
Great script,but I would also have liked Peter and Ray to join Egon and Winston in it.
Janine,Louis and Slimer would be ideal too.
Thanks..appreciate it.
by
19 years, 4 months ago
That's OK.
by
19 years, 4 months ago
Reaper
Well these are mostly street chracters..and just where is Egon talking “ghettoish” as you put it. It would've been nice to see just where you thought I was jumping all over the place. Sam Hain is the main idea…the others were just scenes in where various ghosts were fought. Again not everyone can be a Harvard graduate. Two of the main characters are street wise and speak with a certain vernacular.
Oops sorry about that….I didn't mean to put it that way
….I guess I read the script in a diiferent way and I didn't percieve it as well…my fault :p …Mainly I still wouldv'e like to see more original characters…
by
19 years, 4 months ago
Great Script!! I like the charaters in the story. I think you made them blend in with great personalities. But I have to agree with some of the other users. It would have been really cool, If you would have added in the rest of the cast. I write scripts myself.. I think you did a awsome job!
Keep up the good work
__B`y`r`n`e
:-)
by
19 years, 3 months ago
Egons_girlfriend24
I write scripts myself.. I think you did a awsome job!
Keep up the good work
__B`y`r`n`e
:-)
Thanks. I added in the characters that I thought would be most likely to come back. Stanz I dont think would've wanted to continue as a Ghostbuster. In my script Venkman has married Dana and just wants a normal life.The third movie will most likely center on the new team, and thats why I only re added Winston and Spengler.