This took me a year to write. I takes place after the defeat of Vigo. Feed Back would be appreciated. Enjoy!





It’s been close to 15 years since our heroes, the Ghostbusters have defeated Vigo the Carpathian. There have been fewer ghosts to bust around New York, but there was enough to keep the Ghostbusters in business. But, as all the residence in New York may be happy with the fact of there being close to no more ghosts, one isn’t….



“Vigo…How in the name of ghost, were you defeated by a small team of mortals!?” Says the Ghost King



“Master, I…” Vigo starts to say


“There is no excuse for your defeat! There are less of my ghosts because of you, and when you walked in to the living realm, it took a lot of my power from me! How irresponsible can you be!?” Shouts the Ghost King



“I know I was still in ghost form when I entered the living realm, but I had to kill those…Ghostbusters.” Stated Vigo


“But, you didn’t! A ghost like you and me can’t enter the living realm all willy-nilly; it takes a lot of power to allow doing so.


“Master will you give me another change? I know I can do it. I can defeat them!” Said Vigo


“NO! I’m going to do it my self. For millenniums, ghosts have tried to make the living realm ours, but they have all failed. But I won’t.” Says the Ghost king

The Ghost King is the over lord of all paranormal beings, spirits, ghosts, poltergeist, spooks, etc. He and his followers live in the Ghost Realm, a place of evil and darkness. If you’re wondering where Gozer was, well, it was actually destroyed. And about Vigo still being around, the Ghostbusters thought that they defeated Vigo, they just destroyed the door he made to enter the living realm.



——————————————————————————————————-

“Oh crap!” Shouts Peter as a ghost flies over his head


Then Ray shoots the ghost and gets it, Winston shoots and gets it also.


“EGON GET THE TRAP!” Shouts Winston


“Ok, ok.” Says Egon


Pete shoots and gets the ghost, to just make sure it doesn’t get away. Egon gets the trap and rolls it under the spook.


“Ok, look away, 1…2…3! Look AWAY!” Shouts Egon


The Ghostbusters lets go of the ghost. The ghost gets sucked in, and the Ghostbusters are victorious yet again.



“Ha! A big one in the Box, we be fast.” Says Peter


“And he be slow!” Says the team



They walk out of the old jail, with Egon holding the trap.



“We came, we busted, and we kicked its paranormal ass!” Shouted Peter


As they walk towards the Ecto 1A, Egon notices the P.K.E meter going wild. A huge wave comes across New York. Then the mayor comes up to Peter


“Dr. Peter Venkman. How dare you come and destroy the old jail, there wasn’t even a ghost in there!?” Says the mayor


Venkman turns and sees the old jail about to collapse, and sparks coming from some areas, as like leftovers from the proton streams.


“Sir, I can honestly tell you, there was a ghost in there and we busted its ass.” Said Peter


“No there wasn’t! I said it before, and I’ll say it again, ghosts are not real! You must have blown some kind of laughing gas across the city, when the so called Vigo attacked us. You’ve been playing us all along! Arrest these men immediately! Shouted the mayor


“Wait, you can’t do this!” We demand a lawyer! Says Ray


————————————————————————————————————


“Perfect, with the Ghostbusters gone I will be able to take the realm, with out any problem! Ha ha ha ha!!!” Shouted the Ghost King


“Hmm, using a paranormal wave to turn there own people against them. Nice.” Says Vigo



“See, you should always take your time, instead of just jumping in to things, Vigo.” Explains the Ghost King


“But…” then Vigo got interrupted


“We been through this, there is no excuse for your defeat.” Says the Ghost King



——————————————————————————————————



The Ghostbusters enter the court room. They were put in front of “The Hammer” the same judge they had to put up with when the fought Vigo. This time they had a real lawyer, not Louis.



“Order In the court! Now to the first order of business, what are they being held for?” The Judge said.


“Fraud, use of unlicensed nuclear equipment, and destruction of government property.” the person in the suit says.



“How do you plea?” Says the Judge


“Not guilty.” Said the ghostbusters’ Lawyer


“That’s not a surprise.” Says the judge

————————————————————————————————————


“My new army is perfect. Soon the living realm shall be mine!” Shouts the Ghost King



A huge army of ghosts was standing right before him, each with long fangs, claws, more like demons then ghosts!



“Vigo. Look. A new age is upon us! Soon ghosts will rule the living realm! And I shall fuse our dimension with theirs and my kingdom shall be greater!” Ha ha ha ha!


————————————————————————————————————


“Has the jury come to a decision?” Asks the Judge


“Yes we have. We fine the Ghostbusters…Guilty as charged.” Says the Jury


“Oh, hell no.” Says Peter

“Wait, what about if we can prove ghosts are real. And prove we can trap them?” Asks Egon


The Judge is quiet for a moment.


“Fine you have 5 minutes to fine a ghost and I guess, as long as you need to trap it.” Said the Judge


Egon walks over to the P.K.E and looks at it.


“Please let there be a ghost.” Whispers Egon


He shuts his eyes wishing for a ghost, and then he hears the P.KE meter going.


He tells the others to come. They all strap on there packs.


“Found a ghost? I doubt it.” Says the Judge


“Ready? Heat them up.” Says Ray


Then two ghosts come through a wall.


“Throw them!” Shouts Peter


Every one runs out of the Court Room. That is, except the judge.


“Can’t believe what I’m seeing!” Screams the Judge



“Why, you’ve seen the Scoleri Brothers’ sprits before!?” Asks Winston



“What?!” The Judge Asks


Egon Stops trying to shoot the ghosts and walks over to the Judge


“You mean, you don’t remember the Scoleri Brothers?” Asks Egon


“What are you talking about? These are the first ghosts I’ve ever seen!” Says the Judge


Then the Judge runs out of the court room


Then at the same time Peter gets the ghost.


Winston gets the trap and catches the ghost!


————————————————————————————————————


“No, my spell is wearing off! This can’t be! Wait this shouldn’t be a problem. They might try to fight. But my army is more powerful!” Says the Ghost King


“My Lord, are you sure the Ghostbusters won’t find a way to destroy you?” Ask Vigo


“Vigo, have I ever made a mistake?” Ask the Ghost King


“No, but…” Vigo stops talking, he sees the Ghost King getting mad


“THEN WHY IN THE DEVIL’S NAME ARE YOU ASKING ME SUCH A WORTHLESS QUESTION!!!? The Ghost King shouted


————————————————————————————————————



“Egon, what’s going on? The city is against us, that judge didn’t seem to remember the Scoleri Brothers.” Said Ray in Frustration


“Well, when I saw that paranormal wave race across the city, the average P.K.E readings rose. That must be what’s wrong with everything.” Answered Egon


“OK but, what could the cause of the wave be?” Asked Ray



“All I know is that I want the city to start loving me again, uh, I mean loving us again.” Peter Said


“Well I do have some good news about that, the wave seems to be gone. Cause the average P.K.E readings has gotten back to normal.” Egon Said.


Winston runs towards them.


Guys, something is going on. It’s on the news. Yelled Winston


The guys rush over to the T.V


“What seems to be a huge wave of demons is destroying all of New York. They’re being led by a huge monster in black armor, and next to him is, holy god it’s Vigo the Carpathian! Ghostbusters we need you.” The reporter said.


Janine walks up to them and says, “You guys have a call, it’s from the mayor!”


We see the guys getting in to their uniform, and dive in to the Ecto 1-A








————————————————————————————————————


Now we see them on the roof of the Sears Tower. And they look around them to see what’s left of New York.


“This is … for sure something…you don’t see everyday.” Said Peter


“Man, how are we gonna clean this up?” Asks Ray


“I don’t know, I don’t know.” Says Egon

Hey guys look! Shouts Winston


They look at the Ghost King, he seems to be taller then the building they are standing on top of.


Humans, listen to me. I am now the ruler! And your heroes can’t do anything about it! Says the Ghost King


Alright, let’s hit him with all we got. Let’s cook! Shouts Ray


They shoot at the Ghost King, the streams hit him. But it seems to do no good.


“Stop! Whoa, that’s enough!” Shouts Ray


The Ghost King looks down at them. He starts to walk towards them. And he shrinks down to normal human size and lands in front of them.


“You four mortals are the ghostbusters? Weaker then I expected. Vigo’s defeat is more embarrassing then I first thought.” Exclaimed the Ghost King


“Ray, we’re standing in front of the king, and not to mention, the strongest, ghost. What are we going to do?” Ask Peter

“I guess…start off with something simple. FIRE!” Answers Ray


The guys shoot, but again nothing happened to the Ghost King.


“Ha! I feel nothing. Your weapons are useless against me!” Shouts the Ghost King


They turn off their guns and ran behind of a small building on top the tower.


“What will we do? The packs are useless!” Exclaims Peter


“Let’s trying crossing the streams? It might work. It’s more powerful then the packs by themselves.” Said Egon


“Think about it guys we’re dealing with the King of Ghosts. The most powerful being in the universe. Crossing the streams won’t do much!” Says Ray


Winston peaks at the ghost king.


“I’m waiting ghostbusters! Ha ha ha!” Shouted the Ghost King


“Wait I got it! The ghost trap bomb.” Shouts Egon


“The what?!” Ask Peter


“Ah, the ghost trap bomb.” Says Ray


“It’s a prototype, but tests show it will work.” Exclaims Egon


“So what does it do?” Ask Peter



“Well, it releases the same type of proton energy as does the ghost trap. When the ghost trap is open, and the bomb goes off, it increases the trapping power, and sends out the power which does said trapping even further then the trap by it self. Which also means the trap wouldn’t have to be under the ghost. And also we could possibly trap and hold a ghost like Vigo, or another high level entity.” Answers Ray


“So in other words that bomb will allow us to trap the king?” Says Peter


“Yes, in theory.” Exclaims Egon


“If it’s powerful enough to trap the Ghost King, how about we use it on both Vigo and the ghost king? Like killing two birds with one stone.” Ask Winston


“He has a good, if we do that we wouldn’t have to deal with Vigo after we take care of the Ghost King. “ Said Peter


“Ok, we would have to lure them together. And also I need to get the bomb from the Ecto. How about, you three try to get them together and I’ll get the bomb and get it ready?” Says Egon


Egon goes through a door and heads down the tower. And the others, well they fool around. Peter walks towards the Ghost King.


“Hey king! Why isn’t Vigo fighting with you, afraid that he might show you up?” Exclaimed Peter


“You, you HUMAN; Vigo come here!” Shouted the ghost king


Hey Ray, I think we found his sore spot! Whispered Peter


Yeah and found out he’s bad at insulting! Whispered Ray


Vigo flew toward the ghost king


“What is it my lord?” Ask Vigo


“Let destroy them together.” Said the Ghost King


“I’ll be honored to do so. But, what happened to the skinny human?” Ask Vigo


“Huh! Where’s the fourth one!?” Shouted the Ghost King


“Right here! Ray throw the trap!” Shouted Egon


He runs to the guys. And he has the Ghost Trap Bomb, connected to a silver foot petal, similar to the trap.


Ray grabs the Ghost Trap from his belt, and then rolls it as close as he dares towards the Ghost King and Vigo. Then Ray stomps on the petal, and then Egon throws out the Ghost Trap bomb and stomps and its petal.


“Ah ghost, what’s going on?” Shouts the Ghost King


The Bomb goes off and a blue wave comes out of it. The wave hits the trap’s light, and makes it blue, spreading it out further. Then blue lightning shoots off the blue light and grabs on to the Ghost King and Vigo; and brings them above the trap.


“Egon, its working!” Shouts Ray


“Wow” Says Peter and Winston in unison


“That’s cool looking!” Says Peter


“I knew it would work!” Said Egon


The blue lightning polls the Ghost King and Vigo closer to the trap

I WON’T BE DEFEATED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shouts the Ghost King


This is your entire fault Vigo! Said the Ghost King


WHAT!? Shouts Vigo


“They fight just like a father and son.” Says Peter


Then the blue lightning finally pulls the Ghost King and Vigo in to the trap, the trap doors shut.


Damn we just defeated the King of Ghosts! Says Ray


“Who would have thunk it?” Said Peter


The Ghostbusters walk out of the Sears Tower; with millions of people clapping for them. Then they take off in the Ecto.



The
End

Marks for effort but there's room for improvement.

I apologise in advance as this'll come off as heavy handed… but it's the stuff I noted along the way.


First and foremostly… the ‘Ghost King’ comes off as the stereotypical villain… from his name to the things he says… a good villain is more then just a 2D stereotype… whether it be the tragic villain such as Anakin Skywalker or the ‘always evil but ended up in the place he is because of his own foolishness’ bad guy.

It sorta comes off as a ‘Gary Stu’, the male equivilant of a ‘Mary Sue’… He's the main villain, placed at an extremely high power of control over the ghosts… and he has control over Vigo the Carpathian?


Which leads me to the next point… Vigo's back, and he's a lacky to this ‘Ghost King’? The film established him as a powerful magician… and I figure it's safe to say he's more then just a ghost given he had horn-like things on his head near the end of the movie…


A good knowledge of New York is handy to have although a lot of people can get by with only knowing the main landmarks… however the Sears Tower, which acts as the main location in the all-to-quick finale is in Chicago, not New York.


Also, the plural of ‘millennium’ is not ‘millenniums’, it is ‘millennia’.

Aside from that… I felt the story progressed too quickly… and there wasn't enough time to either flesh out the villain or the returning cast… If 15 years have passed since the events of the second film, surely something's happened to each of the Ghostbusters and Janine in that time… and where are Louis, Dana and Oscar?

The problematic quickness of the pace is shown with the scene setting… we've just had a bust at a misc jail setting and suddenly the Ghostbusters are thrown into court, we then have a brief bust where they break the Ghost King's spell pretty quickly and then they wind up back at the Firehouse without it actually being mentioned they're back at the Firehouse… only that suddenly they're free and Janine meets with them.


I hope this is of some help to you as I realise it's your first story.

Kingpin you are just jealous of the ‘Ghost King’ lol :p

I guess I gave ya the wrong impression. When I think about it now it didn't take me a year to make it, maybe just a couple of months. And also I wrote it to be a short story. But, Ben you did get me at the sears tower thing.

Wouldn't it be funny if the so-called “Ghost King” turned out to be Prime Evil from Filmation's Ghostbusters?

He'd sound something like this:

“You blithering brainless bumbler! You couldn't get rid of those Ghost…bunglers if you had all the power in the Universe! (skrak) Now get out of here–you are fast becoming the sorrow of my Hauntquarters!” (*hits a very sour note on the pipe organ*)

“Hmm…Remind me to call the organ tuner tomorrow. This thing needs adjustment.”