I think… maybe keep developing and working on your writing style… there isn't really any pacing… or explanation as too how a few display boards in Times Square remain operation with the city blacked out.
Aside from that… ‘space titanium’? Was that something you made up, or something in the original Mecha Godzilla stories?
Aside from that, I say make sure you have a good idea of the layout of New York, I say this as the story implies the Chrysler Building is a few blocks away from Times Square.
Even so, should communications out of the island have been disrupted, the NYPD and FDNY could still operate in a citywide blackout.