hey i used to be a member here before the site got shut down…
anyway, i've been working on a GB3 concept for a few years and this is the most effective idea i have so far, at least for the beginning. just to make it clear for some people, i've based this on the rumor that Murray wont do the movie unless he dies and becomes a ghost. well, here it is:

Ghostbusters III
Opening:
A woman is walking into an apartment building. She is young and attractive, but alone. She walks by a sign on the elevator that says ‘out of service’ straight to the stairwell. She is carrying a bag of groceries in one hand, and puts her other hand on the banister going up. As her hand runs along the banister, it suddenly hits a gooey substance. Slime, yet she doesn’t know. After reaching her floor, she enters the hallway. With each step she takes, the lights in the hallway black out and go back on. She begins to pick up her pace of walking. As she passes each set of lights, they explode. She is running now, and the lights blink and break as fast as she runs. She reaches her door, breathing hard and beyond scared. Right before her hand touches the door handle, the locks unlock from the inside and the handle turns. The door bursts open with an explosion of light and wind. She screams as if she saw the devil. Music and Logo queue.
During the song and titles, a montage of Ray, Peter, Egon, and Winston is shown. They are getting ready, the Ecto-1a leaves and plows through the night with its siren and lights. As it is driving, the camera follows it. The camera stops on a building. The sign on the Building says “Better Busters.” Fade to black and display “5 Minutes later.”
The screen shakes and a thud is heard. Title dissolves away as the screen shakes and the sound is heard again. Camera zooms out to show a black door, which shakes yet again with the thud. Then the other side of the door is shown, where Louis runs into the door with his shoulder. Unsuccessful yet again, Louis looks at the guys, rubbing his shoulder, “Sorry, guys. I have a thing with doors.”
“We understand Louis,” Egon comforts him.
“Yes well, we’ve all been there, haven’t we?” Peter chimes in.
Winston walks up to the door and kicks it down. “Speaking of being there, I think we’re in,” he says. Two Ghosts are seen flying around the room, destroying whatever they can. “Who’s going first?”
“Ah, yea, turns out I’m allergic to slime,” Peter says.
“Back,” Ray replies.
“Epidermis,” Egon puts in.
“Well, I’m not going,” Winston tells them. The group slowly turns to Louis, who is still trying to figure out what Egon said. He realizes their stares, and darts off into the room, but can’t get his thrower off of his pack.
“He gets points for lovability, but he can’t carry our weight on his twig of a back. Time for some rookies, don’t you think, Ray?”
“Look, we’re just in a dip right now, okay? Plus, we don’t have the resources. We’ve already had to reduce Louis’s paycheck twice to help get by.
“I thought you said we were all doing that,” Louis whines.
“And we are, Louis, in our hearts,” Peter remarks. When Louis turns around to join into the conversation, he leaves his proton beam on and almost hits Winston.
“Egon, we really need to install those nerd-proof locks that Pete was talking about. Or we could just work on some new equipment,” Winston says.
“Nonsense, this equipment is perfectly fine,” Egon replies. During the conversation, they have been homing in on a ghost, and now have one contained. The usual trap lines ensue, and it is trapped. Peter picks up the trap to take it out of the way. All of a sudden, the second ghost pops out of the wall right through Egon, who is both stunned and startled enough to fall backwards onto the foot pedal. The trap opens while in Peter’s hand, and he is sucked inside…

give me any kind of comment or criticism you can. i want it to be perfect. and if anyone wants to see more, i have about 7 more pages that i need to transfer from my notebook to my computer. and then i have to finish the story. thanks

Looks good to me so far. . .comedic timing is hard to write, but it comes across quite naturally here.
Here's what I'd suggest. . .

-Explain the “Better Busters” sign right away. Right now I'm assuming it's a rival ‘busting team, perhaps a grumble from Pete or Ray as they drive past the sign can indicate this. But if it’s part of the original GBs ad-campaign, get that point across somehow.

-Louis going out on busts regularly. . . hmmmmmm, hard to swallow in the opening, perhaps save it for after Peter is trapped, showing that the team is left with little choice but to use Louis.

-Ghostheads will argue forever about Peter being sucked into the trap and not dying etc, based on numerous things. Maybe have the guys as they fall hit some knobs on the trap, adjusting its polarity/power settings, allowing a living physical being to be sucked in, or have Pete get COVERED in slime, which allows him to get sucked in. I'm assuming part of your story idea is how to get Peter out. . .so the trap needs to be damaged somehow so the GBs can't just “open it up and let him out”, and part of the story is, “how do we save him when this thing is broken?” I'm of course assuming you have this written out already on the unposted pages, or have already thought of this.

Those are just initial/personal reactions, but I liked it a lot–it kept the spirit of the first 2 movies and was well written, do post more!

Dude, Peter getting sucked into the trap? He would explode is what would happen. I just can't see it opening that way man, I think you should re-think it. Work with the same concept I guess but try to think a bit more scientifically, which is what Aykroyd did when he originally wrote the other two movies…

thanks protondefender and master spider.
to explain the better busters, they are a rival group of busters. i assumed that ghostbusting has progressed to the point of commercialization. but having Ray or Peter grumble at the sign would really help set the tone for the chemistry between the two teams, thanks.
as for louis, i really wanted him there in the beginning to show right away how old the guys are.
as for peter and the trap, i only did it because murray wont go unless he dies, so im trying to write the movie as if it was real. and i cant think of another way to kill him off. however, i have a scene with egon explaining the trap and stuff, ill try and get that up by tonight.

Ahhhh ok. I figured you were writing Peter out based on the Murray situation, but assumed he'd be back at the very end, thereby making it a “bookend cameo”. You're smart to use him getting sucked into the trap, because if Murray insisted on dying you're all set, but if it was pure cameo, it leaves the doors open for him to return to a full role if he so chose to.

Can I use this thread to post my ideas for GBIII? Because having thousands of threads for everyone's personal idea would be…frivolous.

The film opens with Ray and Winston driving home from a bust. They look tired.
Winston: Why are we still doing this Ray? We're old men. We can't take this running around all the time, it's not good for us!
Ray: C'mon Winston! You love it really! Saving the day, cleaning up the town, defying forces greater than ourselves to prevent the end of the world!
Winston: I used to love it when it was like that. Now we just drive around downtown New York trying to convince old ladies that their cat isn't a ghost. When we do get a real call we can't perform like we could when we were younger. That last job used to be routine, and we nearly failed to catch it. We haven't saved the world in years.
Ray: It was better when it was the four of us…
Winston: Yeah, but Peter went off to make Ghostbusters International truly international. Now we're part of ‘The World’s Largest Paranormal Investigation Service'. Offices all over the world, hundreds of employees, and we reap the benefits. It's become so impersonal.
Ray: I guess you're right…with so many people all over the place, no one needs three wheezy old guys to take care of the big stuff…
Winston: When it is the three of us.
Ray: Hey, don't have a go at Egon! He's very busy with his work, he could win the Nobel Prize.
Winston: I remember when this was his work and he talked of winning a Nobel Prize for this. I might quit.
Ray: You don't mean that.
Winston: No? My dad wants me to take over the construction company. It's an easy job, lots of money, family business. I might take it.

They drive on in silence.

_____________________________________________________________

That's how I'd start it. Peter's out of the way, but still involved in GB. He can communicate with the guys on the telephone and stuff. GBI is now a global company with branches all over the world. And the GBs are about to fall apart…

Well Peter, for yours I'd say the basic story idea is good.

What works:

-Showing that the GBs have developed in their lives since GB2 aka Venkman w/GB Int., Egon w/Nobel Peace Prize, etc

-That Winston is considering leaving the team

-All the boys are feeling their age


What could be improved on:

-While I understand this is rough and just summarizes the beginning, don't reveal ALL of the story in one scene. . .Ray and Winston don't need to spell out everything that has happened in the last few years. . . they know what has happened, and when they begin to narrate to the audience, it becomes fluffy (a la GB2 after the birthday party, Ray and Winston almost pushed it too far with the whole quick “here's what happened since GB1”). Use action; show how it changed by maybe a radio commercial with Peter for GB Int., Egon saying he's too busy at HQ because he's filling out Nobel forms and is always seen surrounded by books/forms/whatever, etc. If you tell all in the very first scene, people will lose interest in the rest of the movie.

-The boys feeling their age I assume leads into hiring younger members. However, Winston states that ‘busting has become boring and that most the calls end up being something else (such as old ladies and their cats), so I’m thinking why do they need to hire help if nothing is going on for the most part? I'd suggest having the job be even harder than we've seen before. . . perhaps there are less ghosts, but when there are, they are somehow more powerful, and therefore they truly need to hire more help. This is small, but struck me when reading.

All in all a great start and covers subplots nicely.

i do like it as well, and while i agree with protondefender on his points, i would also like to add the fact that most of the ideas that i have seen for GB3 are depressing. i like your concepts and you ideas, but i think it needs to be conveyed in a different way. you cant start out a comedy with a scene that might make ghostheads weep. stick with the ideas, though, and just play around with ways of getting them across.

okay i have the second scene up.

The camera opens on the exterior of a ratty-looking Comic Book store. Inside, the back room door says, “be back in 5 light-years.” Inside the back room, a close-up of a book-stack is shown. The camera pans up the stack about 5-6 feet until it reaches the top. A pair of hands brings another book to a rest on top of the pile. The two hands quickly dart away and the camera zooms out to reveal a blond, long haired man-boy with glasses on (almost like a skinny Milton from office space). He is Patrick Dooley (I need to work on names, anyway, I was thinking Steve Zahn).
“Ah hah! I’ve done it!” he announces enthusiastically.
A sarcastic murmur is heard from the other side of the room, “Done what?” The voice belongs to Richard Dooley (David Spade?), Patrick’s older brother. His face is buried in the latest issue of Green Lantern.
“Done what?! I’ve recreated the great “Librarian Symmetrical Book Stacking” case of ’84, of course!” Patrick replies, more excited than a monkey with a handful of crap.
“And I’m excited because….?” questions Richard, too enthralled in his comic to care.
“Because, I’m the first human to accomplish this feat, that’s why,” Patrick answers.
“No, you’re just the first human to have such a boring life that you resort to doing things that dead people haven’t even done in 20 years. Go make sure that no one has stolen anything from the front window, Captain Unimpressive.” Says Richard.
Patrick leaves the back room. A few seconds later, a yell is heard from the store. Richard tears his eyes away from his comic, huffs, puffs, and rises from his seat. He strolls out of the back room as another scream is heard. Patrick is seen glued to the window. He looks over at Richard, who is about to say something, but puts his finger to his mouth. An unfamiliar siren is heard, gradually getting louder. Soon its blaring and a black hummer pulls up to the building across the street.
“The Better Busters,” Patrick says scornfully.
“So?”
“So? So they’re taking all the business from the originals, the dream team.” Patrick says, almost with tears in his eyes.
“Maybe your dream, fruit of the room, but not mine,” Richard chuckles.
“I’m not kidding! They’re my heroes, and ever since this guy Peck (oh I know ill get crapped on for this one) came up with the separate idea for proton packs, he’s stopped at nothing to run the guys into the ground. But that’s why I’m going to become a Ghostbuster, and save the company!” Patrick says triumphantly.
“Okay sure, but first how about you go and clean up your book tower in the back room. Sound good? Good,” Richard finishes.
From them the camera zooms to the hummer across the street. From the outside of the Hummer, a voice is heard. It sounds like a swat team leader shouting orders. He is giving plans about how to attack a ghost. All of a sudden, the doors of the hummer burst open and three men jump out in what look like radiation suits. They run into the building with extremely high tech-looking equipment on their backs. A fourth man steps out of the hummer. From a ground view, the camera first sees army issue boots, and then pans up. A full modified swat uniform is revealed. A name tag is shown, says “Peck.” His face is finally shown. A long, drawn out “Faaaaaantasitc” can be heard from him with a smile. He walks up to the squirrelly owner, puts his arm around him, and says, “C’mon, the boys’ll be done in a second. Let’s go do some math.” He smiles wider and winks at the man. They walk off screen.
End scene.

these are the best actors i could think of for playing these roles, but if you can think of someone better, or have any questions or suggestions, please put them out there.

ProtonDefender, you've put in some pretty good insights, well thought out and well informed. You ever consider writing something, yourself?

Venky: This version of Ghostbusters III you're writing is developing quite nicely, as well as having some interesting twists, Peter being sucked into the Trap, and Peck running the rival outfit, I'm sure not many people would have thought of that.

Just one note, be careful to keep the characters in character, while I'm sure Peck would relish bossing people around, he's, to quote more then one source over the years, an officious prick, and probably wouldn't smarm his way with the customers like Peter might, but I think the lure of dollar signs would be one factor he does this for…

Nice references on the book stacking, and original GB suit ideas (SWAT suits).

Keep up the good work.