My ideas for GB III


by Kingpin

19 years, 9 months ago

Nice…

The stirring of the chalkboard is, in some ways, similar to the intro to Ghostbusters, with something innanimate starting to move being the signal of a paranormal presence…also…it could be said that the final comment is part of the desensitisation of today's children with modern special effects and horror movies…but that'd be overanalysation.

I liked it, and I look forward to seeing more, you could have a very promising idea on your hands.

by venkman691

19 years, 9 months ago

Hey Mallory Mike, don't forget this is supposed to be a comedy. So you might want to add some funny stuff.

by Mallory-Mike

19 years, 9 months ago

All in good time my friend.

If you read the first scenes of both Ghostbusters (http://scifiscripts.com/scripts/Ghostbusters.txt) and Ghostbusters II (http://scifiscripts.com/scripts/Ghostbusters-2.txt), you'll see that neither of them are all that funny.

by venkman691

19 years, 9 months ago

That's because they were almost entirely improvised, and the only script dialogue they used was to drive the plot, aside from that it was an entirely character driven movie, thanks to the actors' comedic prowess, it does seem that your script is also character driven, but not funny.

by Kingpin

19 years, 9 months ago

Please give Mallory some time, that opening scene is probably only five to ten minutes, tops, the first jokes in Ghostbusters didn't appear until the scene which introduced Peter Venkman, there's no need for any jokes in that first scene.

by venkman691

19 years, 9 months ago

Okay, but what about the touching scene in between Egon and his daughter, where in any Ghostbusters movie have you seen a scene like that, part of the magic of the Ghostbusters movies is to not take themselves seriously, where as that scene seems tonally way off.

by Mallory-Mike

19 years, 9 months ago

Actually, that scene is only 2 minute long. 2 pages equals 2 minutes in script pacing time. So the funny stuff will start even sooner.

But I agree venkman, there is no way to duplicate the improvisation that took place during the first two movies. No way in hell. There's no doubt that with any film, actors add greatly to the characters they play. All I can do is try to flesh out the characters, and be funny where I can. Besides, wall to wall hilarity isn't what Ghostbusters is about. It's about clever timing and interesting concepts. Really, that's why it's held up so well after all these years.

by venkman691

19 years, 9 months ago

Be honest could you see Harold Ramis as Egon saying those lines you wrote? Before you continue with your screenplay, I suggest you watch Stripes, Dogdeball(as that would be the present day equivalent to Ghostbusters), the Original Ghostbuster films, and a couple of the Marx Bros. movie(Duck Soup and Animal Crackers especially) to help aid your screenplay, and to realize not to focus on plot, it doesn't really work on comedy, since the characters shouldn't take anything too seriously, even their current situation.

by Mallory-Mike

19 years, 9 months ago

I've seen all of those films actually. Keep in mind that this is a first draft. It will need to be rewritten a few times to keep the pace even.

So, you really think I should leave out the scene between Egon and his daughter? What if I shortened it? I really want to touch on the subject of fear of ghosts. Yes, as of now the scene is a little sappy. Before I get rid of it completely, I want to see if it can be improved. Do you have any suggestions?

by venkman691

19 years, 9 months ago

Well I myself have my own ideas for a Ghostbuster 3 film, in which the main character has a fear of ghosts, but what differs is that from what I can tell your character's fear is used for a dramatic purpose, where as in my own idea it's done for comedic irony. I was surprised when I read it, as I have been tinkering with my own idea, aside from the “spectrophobia” as you called it, our films would be completely different. As for the aforementioned scene, I would scrap it, but if you want it, don't use Egon, Janine would seem more fitting.