OK, so I realize I'm probably going to get shot down in flames for this, but I've already begun work on a RiffTrax for the first Ghostbusters. I know there are quite a few out there already, but this one might be actually funny. The conceit is, I'm “haunted” (read: being joined by) the skeletal Bad-to-the-Bones from the RGB toyline; he's providing snarky comments as well. So far, I have timings that go up to the Slimer bust. Here we go…
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(00:00) TORCH LADY

NIX: Hi, I'm Nix from GB.net, and this is the Ghostbusters RiffTrax.
BONES: And I'm X-to-the-Z Xzibit.
NIX: No, you're Bad-to-the-Bones.
BONES: Balls.

(00:34) LIBRARY PAN DOWN
NIX: And…Ted Ross in 3…2…wrong movie.

(00:49) INT. LIBRARY–(Alice is putting books on her cart)
NIX (as Alice): “Tum-te-tum-tum-tum…just a few more books to be burned this week. God, I hate the Party sometimes.”
BONES: Remember, Big Brother is always watching.

(01:49) The cards start pouring out of the catalog
NIX: “Something happens and I'm head over heels…” (Tears for Fears)

(02:08-02-18) Alice runs through the bookstacks
NIX: *makes Pac-Man noises*

(02:22) Alice “sees the light”
NIX: *makes Pac-Man death noise*

(02:27) “Ghost Busters!”
BONES: Viewer beware; you're in for a scare…in your pants!

(02:47) Venkman Burn In Hell
BONES: Oooh, snap.

(03:01) The boy gets the card wrong
NIX: *imitates Price is Right fail-horn*

(03:25) “It's…a star?”
NIX: “A star, a star, shimmers in the night…”

(03:35) "It's…a square?"
BONES: It's hip to be a square.

(04:31) The boy gets the card right, but Venkman zaps him anyway
BONES: You bastard.
NIX: You said it, Boney.

(05:31) “blank tape”
NIX: Hmm…I wonder how the department gets its funding?
BONES: They make “Star Trek” fan-films, of course.

(05:38)
BONES: Oh, biscuits.

(06:35) "8:00?"
NIX: Cad.

(06:58) “A mass sponge migration”
NIX: A mass Spongebob migration?

(07:20) “…if you hadn't stopped me”
BONES: That's what she said. (NOTE: This one isn't that funny, but then Bad-to-the-Bones isn't the world's greatest comedian.)

(07:27) “Dr. Venkman, Dr. Stantz, Egon…”
NIX: Oh, burn.

(08:12) "Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?"
NIX: I beg your PARDON!

(08:48) “Symmetrical bookstacking”
NIX: Now, “Library-edition Jenga” can be yours for only $99.99.

(09:09) "Listen! Do you smell something?"
BONES: Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?
NIX: Yes, and it stinks. Rocky, lay off the All-Bran.

(09:17) Ectoplasmic residue
NIX: Let me guess…Shinji, in the library, with a copy of Naughty Comatose Redheads.

(09:34) "…and you want to keep it?"
BONES: In your pants!

(10:05) A bookshelf falls down.
NIX: Baron Bones is around here somewhere…

(10:16) "your first time"
BONES: Balls.

(11:36) Grey Lady shushes Peter
NIX: Shut up, jackass.

(11:47) "I have a plan."
NIX: Uh-oh, he's got a plan…

(12:02) Grey Lady turns into a monster
NIX: Yes, ghosts exist, and they, too, suffer from PMS.

(12:51) "A purely spiritual sense, of course."
NIX: Of course. (NOT BISON!)

(13:25) "Moved off campus"
BONES: Ohhh, biscuits.

(13:43) Dean Yeager's face
NIX: God, just look at his face. He looks like he could use some of The Rock's All-Bran.

(15:16) “You're never going to regret this”
NIX: I already do.

(16:23) "try this pole"
NIX: I dunno…last time I tried a Pole, she slapped me.

(16:49) Terror Dog gargoyle
NIX: Don't worry, it's just Bronx watching over us. I hope.

(17:26) Louis steps out of his apartment
NIX: You know what…I'll just let this guy speak for himself. (*exits*)

(18:41) “feelings of dread”
NIX (a la Adam West): No, but I sometimes experience…curious…stirrings…in my utility belt.

(19:26) Close-up on Stay Puft marshmallows
NIX: Nice foreshadowing.
BONES: And now, a word from our Avon sponsors.
NIX: No, that's foundation, you silly skeleton.

(19:36) Self-frying eggs
NIX: It's all fun and games until someone gets egg all over their face.

(21:30) “Print is dead”
NIX: Join the E-book revolution!

(21:51) Dana walks in
NIX (a la The Joker): Stop the press! Who is that?

(22:50) "…a major household appliance"
NIX: I dunno…just last week my coffeemaker came to life and tried to burn me. Today, the VCR ate another tape. Just another day in the life.

(23:47) “…check her out”
BONES: Ooh la la!

(24:25) “They hate this”
NIX: And so do I.

(24:35) Venkman starts pumping the Ghost Sniffer
NIX: This bit's disturbingly Freudian.
BONES: What *do* you mean?
NIX: Just look at him. He's got a bulb at waist-height, and he's pumping it vigorously…
BONES: Is that…code?
NIX: It may very well be, Bones.

(25:19) "a game show host"
NIX: Yes, he also hosts Name That Ghoul and Wheel of Torture.
BONES: And I host “Roll Dem Bones.”

(26:30) Dana's description of what she saw
NIX: Great, she's got a Republican Party headquarters in her fridge.

(27:08) “…the same problem: you.”
BONES: Oooh, snap.

(27:13) “go for broke”
NIX: You are broke.

(27:55) “what makes her tick”
NIX: Fine quartz movement.