Share a joke here.


by Kingpin

14 years, 5 months ago


IanUl2000;161671
okay a young boy who is ten years old is throwing starfish into the ocean because a big wave washed them to the sand and a man comes up to him and starts laughing at him, and he asks why are you throwing the starfish in the ocean, there is tons of them and it will take you forever to throw all the starfish in the ocean so what difference does it make then the boy threw another starfish into the ocean and said it made a difference to this one then the man went home and came back and he and his wife threw starfish in the ocean with the ten year old.

What's the punchline?

by zachary1998

14 years, 5 months ago


One morning, a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says “Wow, that is one ugly baby.”
The woman was deeply hurt. She continued to get on to the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asked her, “What's wrong? You look mad.”
She replied, “I am. That bus driver just insulted me.”
“You shouldn't take that from him,” the man replied. “He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take his badge number and report him.”
“You're right sir, I think I will report him.”
The elderly man says, “You go on up there and get his badge number. I'll hold your monkey for you.”

by IanUl2000

14 years, 5 months ago


Kingpin;161675
What's the punchline?
what does punchlihne mean.

by zachary1998

14 years, 5 months ago


Here are 20 things that you should never say to a cop:
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Hey! Aren't you the guy from the village people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 MPH to keep up with me! Good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. No donut for you!
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Hey! Didn't I see you on ‘Cops’?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they cannot get a job at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary, dammit!
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around. That's how far behind them I am!
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You're the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of heroin, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?

by Kingpin

14 years, 5 months ago


IanUl2000;161696
what does punchlihne mean.

The thing that delivers the “funny” bit of a joke… because your joke wasn't funny.

by doctorvenkman1

14 years, 5 months ago


Ok, first of all, not knowing what a punchline is… probably shouldn't be posting in a “Share a joke” thread…

Second of all, IanUl2000, what you posted is a motivational story, and a very good one, but its not a joke.

by IanUl2000

14 years, 5 months ago


Doctor Venkman;161705
Ok, first of all, not knowing what a punchline is… probably shouldn't be posting in a “Share a joke” thread…

Second of all, IanUl2000, what you posted is a motivational story, and a very good one, but its not a joke.
whats motivational story mean. they told this story at cub scout camp and i did not get it and i thought the joke was the man got his wife to throw the starfish in the water even though he laughted at the boy.

by IanUl2000

14 years, 5 months ago


okay this joke may be more funny

this boy lets say he is in grade 4 but not my class another grade four in another school and state his homework was to listen to people and tell the teacher the first three words he heard on his way home from school, so he walks home and two kids are fighting, one of them says shut your trap, then later he goes home and his brother is watching superman and he hears someone calling superman by his name superman, then last he hears his parents talking, his dad got in a fite with his boss and he thinks he is fired and he overhears his father saying i am not scared of that jerk

he goes to school the next day and the teacher asks what is the first words you heard, and the boy said shut your trap, then she says that is not aporoprite just who do you think you are and he says superman, the the teacher says that is it i had enough of you are going to the principals office, and the boy said i am not scared of that jerk.

by doctorvenkman1

14 years, 5 months ago


IanUl2000;161720
whats motivational story mean. they told this story at cub scout camp and i did not get it and i thought the joke was the man got his wife to throw the starfish in the water even though he laughted at the boy.

Are you kidding me? You don't know what a motivational story is? How old are you? I don't mean that to be condescending, but you must be pretty young, or naive, to not know what that is.

Its motivational, in that the boy made a difference for the one starfish that he threw back into the ocean, even though he couldn't make a difference for all of them. It means the you shouldn't stop trying to make a difference just because you can't make a difference for EVERYONE.

by zachary1998

14 years, 5 months ago


Your students were out partying the night before they had a big exam early in the morning. They were told that they have to come to the exam on time or they could not write it unless they had a reasonable excuse of being late. The four students talked it over and decided to claim that they were late because they had a flat tire. The teacher tells them that he is understanding however since they had missed the exam he would have to make them take a different one and to come back in a few hours to take the exam.

He placed them far from each other and there was only one question on the test and that question was

Which tire?


(*egon)


Zach and Kevin were both going for a job interview and the person conducting the interview said that they are both good for the job, however he will give a simple basic skills test. It was a test which only had ten questions. Zach and Kevin finished the test and handed it in. The interviewer gave the results,
“Well you both got 9 out of ten, and you both got question 5 wrong, however we decided that Zach gets the job.”

Kevin got really angry, “How can you give Zach the job when we both got 9/10 and the same question wrong. The interviewer told him, it is not the number of questions you got correct, we based it on the wrong answer you gave for question. Zach's reply for question five was ”I have no clue“ and your reply was ”me either"

(*peter)


Mental Health Hotline


Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
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If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
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