……….or should i not bother?it's pretty long, and i put a good amount of time in it. i actually wrote it a while ago and posted it on the old board. i was just thinking of reposting it. anyone wanna read?


-thespud

Me

good enough for me. here it is…enjoy……….Ghostbusters III Script

Scene 1 - Ray's Bookstore

(camera views the front of the store. Cars going by.)(camera switches to inside. Ray is playing some game on his computer.)

Ring! Ring! (the door opens)

Dana - Hi Ray.

Ray - Hello Dana, hi Oscar.

Oscar - Hey Mr. Stantz

Dana - Okay Oscar you can go look around. (Oscar walks out of view)

Dana - so how's business?

Ray - well as you know spooks have been pretty scarce lately and -

Dana - I meant the Bookstore.

Ray - Oh…Yes, Of course. Well my new book “The Life of a Ghostbuster” hasn't been exactly been flying off the shelves lately - it's only $19.95 by the way-

Dana - Yes I know Ray I have three copies.
(camera slowly pans away through the bookstore, to Oscar. He's flipping pages and humming the GB theme. The camera shifts behind Oscar as a book slowly hovers off the shelf (as in GB1), and right behind Oscar. Then it drops with a thud and gives Oscar a jolt.)

Oscar - What's this?

(camera pans down toward the book as Oscar picks it up. It has the name ______ on the cover)

Oscar - Hey Mom! Can I get this?



Scene 2 - The Firehouse.

(The camera is inside facing the door.)

Knock! Knock!

(slowly the camera pans toward the giant door, hovering toward it. Suspenseful music playing, the piano keys (like in GB1) The door suddenly swings open.)

Pizza guy - (he resembles janoazs. looking at the order in his hand.) Okay. Three large pizzas that comes to about -

Slimer - (face to face with the pizza guy) Boo!

Pizza guy - AAAh! (he runs away leaving the pizza) it's on the house!

(enter Peter)

Peter - (towards slimer) Thanks spud. (to the people upstairs) Hey guys! Pizza! My treat!

Slimer - whimpers…..

Peter - Okay the spud helped too.

(the camera follows slimer up the pole to that place with the table seen in the first movie.)

Egon - Great, I was getting tired of Chinese.

Peter - very funny eggy.

Janine - I think it was very nice of Mr. Ven-

Peter - thank you Janine, but you're still not getting a raise.

(enter Ray)

Ray - Hey guys. Pizza, great I was getting tired of -

Peter - Chinese. Yes I know. But we're getting it for free here guys, as long as we got the spud over there.

Ray - But look how much he eats! (camera shifts to slimer, who stops eating, backs away and whistles)

Egon - you alright Ray?

Ray - Yeah, sorry guys, sorry slimer. (slimer goes back to chowing down) I'm just mad cause my book isn't selling.

Egon - I thought it was a very insightful novel.

Ray - thanks Egon. What'd you think Pete?
Peter - ( reading the back cover of the book from under the table.) Uh..I thought that it was very imaginative and a great buy.

Ray - That's funny. So did the NY Post.

Peter - Okay I didn't like it.

Ray - why not?

Peter - because you didn't put me in it. I'm the heart of the whole team.

Ray - hey I ran into Dana today at the store.

Pete - sell her more copies of you're book?

Ray - No, she just stopped by just to see how everybody is. Oscar got a book, “_____” or something like that.

Egon - did you say “_____”

Ray - yeah why?

Egon - We have to get that book, immediately . Get the packs, let's go.

Ray - I'll start the Ecto.

Peter - I'll get the pizza.


Scene III - Dana's 3rd Apartment

Oscars room -

Oscar - (reading the book) What is this stuff?(reads a few lines.) What's that
supposed to mean? (suddenly the book flies out of Oscars hands. The camera zooms in on the book. Suddenly a blinding light shoots out and three ghosts arise)

Oscar - what the - (one of the ghosts attempts to grab him, but he's suddenly shot with a proton beam.)

Ray - Whoo! Still got it!

Egon - Slimer! Get Oscar out of here!

Egon - there's too many, we haven't handled one in years, let alone three!

Ray -Slimer! Get Winston!

——-so how is it? i've got more…if you want more…..so please reply…..thanks…-thespud

awesome start cant wait for the rest

really? you really like it? good. i wasn't sure about a few things. like having slimer be their friend and all, but i think it works nicely in the story. glad you enjoyed it. i'll post more soon.

-thespud

intresting…
I likes it

Its cool, although Slimmer being their friend is a lil strange.

thanks for the replies….heres some more…..enjoy.


Firehouse -

Winston - Hey! Where is everybody?

Janine - they aren't here Mr. Zedmore. There over Dana's and- (suddenly slimer flies through (I mean through) the front door followed by Dana grabbing Oscar by the arm)

Winston- What's going on?

Dana - Ghosts, at my place! The guys need you!

Winston - I'm on my way!

Louis - Hey, Dana, it's you!

Dana - Oh…..hi Louis

Louis - Oh don't worry Dana, this is the safest place you could possibly be from ghosts.

(camera shifts to containment unit. the blue ghost we saw escape earlier is looking right at the grid. slimer is hidden close behind)

Ghost - heh heh heh (he shuts down the containment grid. lights start flashing (as in Gb1)

Slimer - uh oh…whimpers

Janine - (upstairs) Not Again!

Dana - What's happening?

Louis - I don't know lets get out of here hurry!

Oscar - We need to get Mr. Stantz and Mr. Venkman quick!

Scene - IV - Winston in his car.

Winston - Oh no………. (he swerves back around and heads toward the fire house. he can see it coming up with those rays shooting out the top. then he sees Louis, Janine, Dana, and Oscar running out away from the fire house. he slams the breaks)

Winston - Guys what happened?

Janine - someone shut off the protection grid!

Winston - Great, just great. well I gotta head back.

Louis - I'll come too.

Janine - Louis?

Louis - hey I'm a Ghostbusters too, and if the guys have a problem it's my problem too.

Dana - The guys! They're still back at my apartment. (camera zooms in on Dana's frightened face)

Scene V - Dana's Apartment (again)

Ray - Bring ‘em down

Egon - I’m opening the trap, Ray.

Peter - Hurry it up eggy, this slimeball's gettin' restless. (suddenly slimer flies in.)

Spud - Man, spud, am I glad to see you! Grab a trap hurry!

Slimer - but pet-

Peter - just grab a trap slimer! (slimer mumbles a little then grabs a trap and sets it out.)

Peter-Way to go spud!

Slimer - but pet-

Peter - how you guys holdin' up over there? (slimer mumbles again angrily)

Egon - well we haven't broken anything yet.

Ray - speak for yourself. Alright Egon, open the trap.

Egon - alright ray…..(trap opens and…..the ghost is caught)……we got him!
(mean while, unknown to the gbs the same light rays seen in the first movie can be seen through the window behind them, getting closer, and closer.)

Ray - two in the trap-

Egon - we're tired of mope'n (mean while the same light rays seen in the first movie can be seen through the window behind them

Peter - we ain't lost it yet-

slimer - and the containment unit's open! (okay I know it’s weird, but think of the rgb slimer saying it in that voice. It rhymes anyway….)

(all three swing around and gaze out the window)

Peter - uh. oh.

Ray - that about says it.

Egon - we're in deep trouble.

——-what did ya think?
-thespud

p.s. theres still more if ya want it.

Cool start. Creative idea.
My only constructive criticism so far would be to have some of nick-names be used so frequently. For example, you have Peter call slimer “spud” a few times right in a row. Try using other ones. Just like in the Mayor's Office scene, Peter doesn't always call William Atherton's character “Dickless” all the time. Pete's witty dialog should add comedy, not redundancy. Nonetheless, it's great. Keep it coming.

crud. i just posted some more, just before your message. i'll take your advice for the next section.
sorry.
-thespud