more more more!!!!

sorry, i've been out for the past few days. okay i still got some more:

Scene - VIIIIIII ?!?!?

Winston - so whats the plan guys?

Ray –-it doesn’t look good.

Winston - well we know that. Spengler?

Egon - let me read up some more on this book……I can’t get to the computer, or whats left of it.

Winston – (looks at peter…..hesitates……) Pete?

Peter – cross the streams.

Egon – ha ha

Ray – yeah venkman. It’s not like we are are dealing with a giant marshmallow man here.
Egon – according to this book, the three ghosts are looking for-

Peter – lemme guess. It’s gozer.

Egon – I don’t think so.

Peter – Vigo?

Egon – doubtful. It appears they are looking for a human host. It looks like we are dealing with a whole new menace. According to this book it is trying to take back the human world.

Peter – greedy little guy isn’t he?

Ray – take back?

Egon – as it turns out he was developing a scheme to enslave humans under his control.
But he died before he could carry it out. Now he has control over the ghostworld, and wants the human world also. In order to do so he must take human form.

Peter - so hows he gonna do that?

Scene VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- back at dana’s apartment.

(Dana and Janine are looking out Dana’s window.)

Janine – don’t worry Dana. The guys ‘ll take good care of oscar.

Dana – you think?

Janine – definitely, Egon and ray and pet- well maybe just egon, ray and Winston.
And Lewis is there. So Oscars in Great hands.

Dana – (rolls her eyes) I hope you are right.

(suddenly the giant ghost flies across the sky towards Dana and……through her building to a few floors down to a certain gb haters home.)

Scene - ???? – elsewhere

Giant ghost - YOU?!?!?

Peck – What? Who are you?

Giant Ghost – no matter. I am here to give you what you want.

Peck – what are you talking about?

GG – I need you to help me get rid of the ones called “ghostbusters”. The have caused trouble in the past and could pose a threat to my plan.
Peck – what plan?

GG – it doesn’t concern you …..heh heh heh…. Are you in or not?

(zooms in on pecks face)

Peck - anything to get my revenge……..


——–okay this is kind of an odd turn, but nonetheless i hope you like it. the only problem is that this is all I have. i never finished it. so when i get the chance i'll write some more. comments?

-thespud

Its a good start and everything But I think your having things happen way to fast. When those ghosts come out of the book that would probaly only be 5-7 minutes into the movie.

Just some advice

John

Very good story, I like it, and I think all the coments posted by everybody of your work are good ones, they contribute a lot to the developing of your story, and like you said, this is something more like a story than a script, but it is Ok, you would have to start like this anyway, you can build the script based in this story, and it will give you the oportunity to make some corrections if you want to.
keep up the good work, you can never know, maybe this is the begining of something big in the world of writing for you….
Congratulations !!